Brevard Minister

Rev. Fuller's Wedding Blog

Reflections, advice, ritual ideas, stories, guidance and random thoughts from the perspective of an experienced wedding officiant.

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Beyond the Processional and Recessional: Adding a Musical Touch

1/29/2013

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Most people associate wedding music with the tunes that accompany the Processional and Recessional as the wedding party marches up and down the aisle at the beginning and end of the ceremony. Anyone who has been to a handful of weddings will recognize the classic formula of Pachelbel's Canon in D (bridesmaids), Wagner's Bridal March (bride), and Mendelssohn's Wedding March (recessional). While music is not required when entering and exiting a wedding ceremony, it seems to be pretty much expected.

Music can be used effectively in other parts of the ceremony as well though. However, there are a few things that should be taken into consideration to ensure the music adds to the ritual and doesn't detract from it. For example, while it may seem like a good idea to have music playing during a sand ceremony, unity candle or other such ritual, it doesn't actually work that well. These rituals do not last very long and the officiant usually speaks throughout. The spoken word helps guide the participants by giving them directions and explains the symbolism to the guests. Background music is fine, but it will not be the focal point at such moments within the wedding.

The following recommendations will ensure your special song or cherished tune stands on its own as an important element in your Order of Service no matter if it is placed towards the beginning of the wedding, right in the middle or closer to the end.

1.  Whether the piece is live or recorded matters less than if it evokes just the right emotional response in you and your guests. So select a piece that is meaningful to you! If you let a soloist choose a piece he or she finds easy to sing or ask your DJ to play his favorite song, your guests will spot the disconnect in a heartbeat. If a piece of music doesn't spring readily to mind as something you would want to hear during your wedding, don't feel you need to include any special music at all.

2. Although many of the most common rituals are not conducive to music, you might want to consider some sort of activity during a musical interlude. Try this. Play your favorite song while standing in your living room facing one another and holding hands. Now imagine your guests staring at you while you are facing one another holding hands. I can promise you a three minute song will feel like thirty.  Here are some ideas for activities that will keep everyone engaged without detracting from the music.
  • Give close family members (or all guests!) hugs and kisses.
  • Have your witnesses come forward and sign the marriage license or a marriage certificate.
  • Hand out flowers or other small tokens to close family and friends.
  • Watch as your guests participate in a Warming of the Rings or a Laying Hands on the Bouquet ritual.
At my own wedding, my husband and I went up and down the aisle greeting our guests while a soloist sang a song that had been sung at my parents' wedding. At a recent wedding I officiated, the bride and groom's children pinned boutonniere's and coursages on their grandparents to a recording of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Last year, a couple did an environmentally safe balloon release and we watched the balloons float away while we listened to their favorite song.

3. Pay attention to the length of the piece and edit for brevity if necessary. Musical interludes should not exceed three minutes in length if you want to keep guests engaged, especially if your favorite song has lots of verses or is particularly repetitive.

4. Invest in quality when it comes to live musicians! This is not an issue if you are using a recorded piece, but can be huge if you are engaging a live musician. Okay, I'll be the bad guy and say it. This is not the time to agree to let your cousin sing if she cannot carry a tune in a bucket. Nor is it the time for your nephew to scratch out "Ode to Joy" on the violin he just started learning a few months ago. Promise me you will not torture your guests with low musical standards.

Photo Attribute: Commonly used online, no provenance found.


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Okay, So It's Not a Wedding, but....

1/21/2013

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I officiated a Baby Dedication on Saturday afternoon...with a fractured rib. Me, not the baby. Alas, it meant I could not hold the baby while standing. However, in a demonstration of some serious trust, mom and dad let me cuddle with him in my lap when I was seated. Baby fix!!

Timothy James was absolutely adorable and followed in the footsteps of many a baby before him by crying throughout the entire ceremony. I don't think I'd know what to do if a baby wasn't sleeping or crying throughout a christening. He wore a little white tuxedo instead of a christening gown and it was about the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Timothy was dedicated in the presence of his parents, grandparents, godparents, and several close friends.
We held the ceremony at Gleason Park in Indian Harbour Beach in the very same pavilion where I joined his parents, Vanetia and Jim, in marriage several years ago. It has become a location with incredible sentimental meaning for this growing family. The weather cooperated nicely. A little overcast, but not raining and neither too hot nor too cold.

I did not have my camera and am reluctant to put pictures of people's children on my website without specific instructions to do so from parents anyway. So we'll make do with the cute little baby feet in the stock photo and a picture from Vanetia and Jim's wedding for illustrations. I bet they will be shocked to see I still have the picture below.
...there's magic for a while
A special kind of sunshine in a smile
Do you ever stop to think or wonder why
The nearest thing to heaven is a child.
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Erin and Jesse: Twilight at the Beach

1/15/2013

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Erin and Jesse were married on Saturday, January 05 at sunset. The ceremony was held on the sandy area behind the Pelican Beach Clubhouse in Satellite Beach with the reception inside the clubhouse. This type of ceremony is why I put weddings on my Kindle with a book light cover. The ceremony started with a little bit of light, but ended in the dark. Very very romantic!

Erin and Jesse were attended by a Maid of Honor, two Best Men, a flower girl and a ring bearer.  The boys and the Maid of Honor are their children and what a beautiful family they are.

The weather held quite nicely and we only experienced a little bit of the drizzlies right before the reception.
Their ceremony included a lovely memorial to absent loved ones that consisted of a flower presentation to family members accompanied by Israel Kamakawiwoole's rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

After their ring exchange, the couple made step-parent vows to the children and presented each of them with a ring as a token of their unconditional love. I got choked up! And that wasn't from my previous coughing fit.

The celebrations had a hint of a Shrek theme going on, but very subtle. I didn't wear ogre ears to officiate as you can see from the photos. Tempting though.
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Vendors
Venue: Pelican Beach Clubhouse
Caterer: Renaissance Catering
Photographer: Nolan Etheridge
DJ: Joey Denizak "DJ Drift"
Hair and Makeup: Artone Studios

Then ya gotta, gotta try a little tenderness! Chicks love that
romantic crap! ~ Donkey


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Happy New Year!

1/14/2013

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Adult's only brunch at Palo's with my husband, mother-in-law, father-in-law and brother-in-law.
I have had a few people contact me to make sure everything is okay as I have not written any columns lately and have been very quiet on Facebook, I am so touched they noticed!

Everything is perfectly fine. I took a much needed vacation with my family over the holiday. My in-laws celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this December and treated us to a New Years cruise on the Disney Dream.
Attention honeymooners! I cannot say enough wonderful things about Disney Cruise Lines. The adults only facilities and activities are excellent. You really can have a romantic getaway in the midst of what is typically thought of as family-oriented and child-saturated.

I have a special dietary need and was accommodated in the most gracious ways.
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My three sons ready to ring in the new year -- and celebrate the teenager's 16th birthday!
Alas, the vacation concluded with most of the family, including myself, falling victim to the upper respiratory infection epidemic plaguing our area. I had a few moments of panic before a wedding on January 5 when I truly feared I would not be able to stop a coughing fit long enough to officiate the ceremony. All turned out well in the end. Whew!

I gave my card to the photographers who captured my first three weddings of 2013. Hopefully I will receive some good ceremony shots before too long and can add some "real life wedding stories" to my blog soon. All three were flawless! If the rest of the weddings turn out half as well, it will be a very good year.
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    Rev. Ann Fuller

    The commentary on this blog is my own opinion developed over years of officiating a wide range of wedding sizes and styles. I am always happy to answer any questions you may have.
    brevardminister@gmail.com

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    Photographers: If you recognize a photo used on this blog for which you have not been properly credited, please let me know immediately. I use images in good faith, but the internet being what it is, they can lose their provenance quickly. I am happy to either remove the image or provide attribution.

    If you would like me to use one of your photographs, by all means send it to me and I will work it into a blog entry at some point and link to your site.

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