Fishermen and Weddings? Why Knot!

4/16/2013

* If you are looking for the unity Knot Ceremony, click here.
* If you are looking for information about Handfastings, click here.
* If you would like to see posts about real weddings that included the Fisherman's Knot, click here and here.

My apologies, but I absolutely cannot resist an awful pun. You'll have to forgive me for this post's headline.

I was recently asked to include the tying of a Fisherman's Knot in a wedding ceremony. I confess I had not run across this before and I am really surprised by that considering I live between two rivers and near the sea. It's fantastic! This is a great unity ritual for outdoor weddings, but it does not fit neatly into the unity ritual category because its symbolism includes so much more.

I also love it because the tying of the knot is the responsibility of the bride and groom, leaving my hands free for my Kindle. No fumbling on my part! It does require some practice, so if you're going to include it in your wedding, make time to rehearse. You have to learn how to tie a fisherman's knot to make this a successful moment in your wedding ceremony.

I was not completely enamored of the various versions I found online, so I wrote one I believe captures the rich symbolic potential of the fisherman's knot wedding ritual.

(Bride and Groom) have just sealed their relationship with the giving and receiving of rings. Today their relationship is further symbolized by the tying of a fisherman’s knot; a true lovers knot, for it is the strongest there is; its bond will not break, becoming ever stronger under pressure.

(Bride and Groom), will you please tie this knot? ~ (couple begin tying the knot)

These two cords represent your past; each of you as individuals and the unique and special gifts you bring to your marriage. As you fasten your pieces together, these actions represent the present; this moment when you join your two lives into one common purpose. The completed knot represents your future, secure in the knowledge your relationship will continue to be strong despite the inevitable changes life brings. Although the fisherman's knot is one of the simplest to tie, it is also one of the sturdiest. As stress is applied, the knot becomes ever stronger.

It is the goal of marriage to achieve a blending of hearts and lives, but like the spaces between these cords formed by the knot, let there also be spaces in your new life together, so each may encourage and nurture the individual growth of the other.

I ask that you know pull on this rope to see it strengthen under pressure while still allowing us to see the individual cords ~ just as your support of one another as beautiful and blessed individuals strengthens your union. ~ (pull on the rope together)

As you hold one another in mutual concern and shared respect, may you continue holding each other tightly in your hearts and form a strong bond, now and forever. Let this knot indicate the strength of your love and be a symbol of your unity from this day forward.

You are welcome to use this for your wedding ceremony if you wish. I respectfully request that officiants who want to share this on-line use professional courtesy and either link to this blog post or provide a citation that it was written by Rev. Ann Fuller.

Photo Attribute: Unknown provenance. If anyone recognizes the image, please contact me and I will be happy to add the appropriate credit.
Update: Provenance found! My sincere thanks to Courtney for identifying this photo that has gone absolutely viralhttp://rosealamode.com/what-do-you-wear-to-a-may-wedding/. Original Source (and details in comment below).

34 Comments

Celia

4/18/2013 01:28:46 am

Is that the same thing as the sailor's knot?

Rev. Ann Fuller

4/24/2013 01:01:12 am

I won't swear to it, but I'm fairly certain it must be.

Alicia

8/15/2013 05:19:14 am

Hello! Thank you for writing these beautiful words. My fiancé and I are getting married in about 6 weeks, and we've been looking for wording for our knot tying ceremony. I just read your version, and I teared up. Thank you, this is very inspiring..

Alicia

Rev. Ann Fuller

8/15/2013 10:05:00 pm

Oh I'm so glad you found it helpful. I tell my couples that if something gives you goose bumps, makes you tear up, or puts a lump in your throat...that means you should include it in your ceremony! Best wishes to you for a long and happy marriage.

Misty

12/31/2015 11:45:12 am

Ty for this !! I'm getting married NOT MY FIRST but oh how I just know it's my last and we were going to do the sand ceremony. Well not after reading this! We are getting married 4/29/16 and will be using this in our ceremony it's just absolutely beautiful!

Rev. Kathy Costello link

8/16/2013 02:02:15 am

A bride sent me a link to your Fisherman's Knot ceremony because she feels it fits them so well as a couple. I have to say, having never heard of this before and I think it is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing it!

Rev. Ann Fuller

8/22/2013 07:14:54 am

You are quite welcome! Thanks for taking the time to add a comment.

Courtney Weisbaum

8/25/2013 05:21:58 am

I was looking online for ceremony ideas when I came across the original picture. The picture was taken at the wedding of Kristi and Trevor Pinkham: http://rosealamode.com/what-do-you-wear-to-a-may-wedding/
For video: http://kristipinkham.com/media/

Angelina

10/15/2013 09:54:35 am

This is one of the most moving ceremony ideas I've seen and I hope my officiant will like the idea as well. Wish me luck.

Rev. Ann Fuller

10/15/2013 09:59:15 pm

Best wishes to you! And I would hope your officiant would be thrilled to include anything you find meaningful and moving.

Pastor Brian Reid

10/19/2013 12:44:41 am

This will be the first time I have done a wedding with the knot tying. I was a bit bum fuzzelled as to go about. This has helped me tremendously to be able to know how I was going to do it. The couple asked that rather than a song being played, I would explain the purpose and symbolism of the knot. Thanks SO much for what you posted! I hope I have another wedding that does this very thing!

Elizabeth Zimmerman

1/17/2014 02:54:39 am

I can't wait to use this in my wedding..with my fiancé, who is currently serving in the Navy! We will also have our mothers 'present' us with each peice of rope- representing our past..I love being able to include our mothers in the ceremony!

Colleen Gentile link

4/8/2014 09:05:40 am

Can't wait to use this at our July wedding. Our officiant suggested we look into different rituals. My fiance said "how about we truly 'tie the knot?'" and then I saw this! He and I both love to fish, so this being a fisherman's knot seems very fitting!! I'm a terrible knot tie-er though, so we'll have to practice a bunch of times!!! I love the wording you were kind enough to put on the website. Thanks!! :)

Julia

4/27/2014 06:55:00 am

This is so awesome! We were planning to tie an infininty knot for our ceremony, but now that I see this, it gives so much more meaning to the ceremony. I love this idea. Thank you!

Amelia A

5/8/2014 04:22:16 pm

I love this! I am going to show the words to my officiant and see if she is comfortable using them. This is perfect. My fiancée and I are to be wed on my fathers farm, leaving my Fiancé's fishing past completely unrepresented. This is a nifty way to bring it in, without clashing nautical themes and farm themes.

Candice

5/27/2014 12:00:28 am

This is perfect! My grandmother is going to be our officiant at our ceremony and we have been having a hard time finding the right wording. You said it beautifully! I am definitely going to show her this so she can have some inspiration for ours!

Jenn

6/5/2014 06:14:10 am

THANKYOU! thank you thank you thank you!!! My commissioner had no idea what I was trying to say until I found the wording for this!! it's PERFECT!! thank you!!

Roger Griffin link

8/5/2014 07:36:03 am

lovely idea! very nice

Diane Strong

8/5/2014 12:51:10 pm

I am a celebrant in New Zealand and was shown this by a young sea faring couple whose wedding I am about to have the privilege of officiating. I too wish to thank you for insightful and thoughtful wording

Pastor Rod Hank link

9/17/2014 02:35:09 am

Hi Rev. Ann,

I just want to say that this is very well-written. I know it's been a while since the original post... however I'm going to use your liturgy for a wedding I have this weekend. It is excellent! Just thank you for sharing this with the rest of us.

God's grace and peace to you.

P. Rod Hank-

Mike

10/27/2014 09:56:09 am

What type of rope would you recommend for ease of tying? Is there a preference?

Rev. Ann Fuller

10/27/2014 10:45:07 pm

Manila or cotton nautical rope is probably what I have seen the most. It's pretty easy to find with an on-line search.

Rev. Ann Marie Acacio link

2/17/2015 12:28:13 am

I've been officiating at weddings for 25 years and have written many "unity ceremonies." When a couple sent me your link and asked me to use this ceremony for them, I was very impressed and inspired by the intimate way in which you wove your words (it sounds like something I would say) so I thank you for sharing your beautiful gift! Blessings on your continued successful ministry!

Allison

5/14/2015 01:36:34 am

This is beautiful. Thank you for this!!

Julia Alliger

5/18/2015 03:05:00 am

Wow thanks for this! I am presiding at my son's wedding in June and was wondering if anyone had written anything for a knot-tying. This is perfect.

Keith Willyard

5/28/2015 01:16:36 pm

I am marrying a couple at a wedding venue in Virginia Beach, VA. The bride wrote: "Since we are getting married on the water we would like to do a "fishermans knot" instead of a Unity Candle.. This is the first time I will have used your liturgy and the "fisherman's knot". It will be so much nicer than using a traditional "unity candle" that is difficult in the wind a the Oceanfront.
Thank you!

MAUREEN A. DEXTER

6/24/2015 11:10:25 pm

I was asked by my granddaughter to include the 'Fisherman's Knot "in her wedding vows.The ceremony will be held on the beach. I was happy to find your site. I have been a Justice of the Peace since 1976 and this is the first time I will use this. Thank you Rev.Ann Fuller

Chuck Wojnowski link

7/15/2015 03:07:34 am

Thank you for publishing this. I am not a fan of the Unity Candle or the Celtic Handfasting ceremony, but wanted something special for our wedding. When I read your Tying the Knot ceremony I knew immediately I had found the exact wording I was looking for that reflected the nature of our relationship. We used this last month at our wedding & everyone loved it (we made it a sort of tug-of-war which got fun giggles from the congregation).

Pastor Mike Collier

8/25/2015 10:45:10 am

Brother thank you for sharing. I am doing a wedding this weekend and the Bride found this. She fell in love with it and asked if I would consider using it in the ceremony. I read through one time and without hesitation said yes!

Nicole

9/26/2015 08:19:17 pm

Hi, my fiancé and I are getting married in six weeks and we are wanting to do the fisherman's knot ceremony. The wording you created is perfect, thank you for sharing. My future step son(8 years old) will be a ring bearer, but we were wanting to possibly include him in the tie the knot ceremony as well. Any ideas on how to do this and what the wording might say? Thank you!

Nicole link

1/15/2016 02:03:32 am

A couple shared this link as they wish to use your lovely words in their ceremony I am performing. Thank you for being so generous and sharing your work with the community.

Would you like me to verbally acknowledge your work during the ceremony or are you happy that I make a written note in their ceremony booklet?

Rev. Ann Fuller

1/15/2016 05:33:31 am

I am glad they liked it. There is no need for a verbal acknowledgement. You are welcome to decide if a written note in their ceremony booklet is necessary. Best Wishes, Ann

Sara

2/16/2016 07:11:12 pm

I absolutely love this. We are using this in our wedding in April. But I am having a hard time finding out how exactly they are tying it?? I see some where two knots come together in the middle but that doesn't really go with the whole saying? Any help offered would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance:)

Rev. Ann

2/17/2016 05:41:03 am

I am all thumbs, so I have no idea! I've always been impressed by the couples who figured it out. LOL! I have had a few tell me they looked up how to tie a fisherman's knot on YouTube and practiced what the videos showed them. I am sorry I am not more help.

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.

Rev. Ann Fuller

The commentary on this blog is my own opinion developed over years of officiating a wide range of wedding sizes and styles. I am always happy to answer any questions you may have.
brevardminister@cfl.rr.com

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If you would like me to use one of your photographs, by all means send it to me and I will work it into a blog entry at some point and link to your site.

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