BRIDE: “I know exactly what I want for my wedding while everyone else seems to think I should be agonizing through choices. Is it weird I’m making decisions quickly and have a solid vision of what I want? I don’t want to be a bridezilla! Am I?
First of all, there is a strong probability this woman is the easiest bridal personality to work with. She has clear expectations, but doesn’t want to be a dictator who alienates everyone around her. Secondly, I loathe the term bridezilla. The term is used so loosely it’s essentially become an insult for a woman who happens to be getting married who has irritated you in any way about almost anything.
Odds are, she’s probably just a bride functioning under an inordinate amount of stress without the proper support in place to help her relax. There may not be much that can be done about the former, but tons to be done for the latter. Figure out the source of the stress and then help alleviate it with her. Is she failing to delegate tasks others could be doing instead, is she managing dysfunctional family dynamics, is she overloaded with work, school and wedding plans, etc. and consequently not getting enough sleep? That last one is enough to make me rather snippy with people.
So no, having clear expectations of what you want for your wedding is not remotely a bridezilla characteristic. I rather suspect most bridezillas get that reputation when they are indecisive and keep changing their minds constantly. Now that's annoying!
In fact, your wedding vendors adore decisiveness if you keep two things in mind. When it comes to reputable, reliable and experienced wedding vendors:
1. They sincerely do want to provide you with the wedding of your dreams. However, they are also constrained by market forces, the laws of physics and Mother Nature. If you dream of a grand exit from your reception on a flying carpet you’ve got a reality check coming. Be realistic!
2. They have seen what works well and what fails spectacularly. If the vendor has a logical reason why one of your requests won’t work, try your best to balance your emotional attachment with their logic. For example, there is not a chance a unity candle is going to work well outside. You have to decide which is more important, the setting or the candle. Trust their experience!
As you can probably tell, I love working with brides who know exactly what they want and also understand life doesn’t always go according to our best laid plans so a certain degree of flexibility is warranted.
The most difficult brides for me are the indecisive and/or uncommunicative ones. I find it far more stressful to prepare for a wedding with a couple who can’t or won’t tell me what they want. Notice I shifted the responsibility to both the bride and the groom! I don't think it's fair these days to heap the responsibility upon the bride when grooms are perfectly capable of helping make decisions and may very well have their own preferences. Besides, it's good practice for all the joint decision making inherent in the marriage bond.
Clear expectations and courteous, prompt communication among all the parties involved results in great wedding planning not bridezillas.