|
Here is a fun little exercise to play with to
create your own mix and match beach wedding so you can see how easy it is. Each
element in the following order of service includes three options. Cut and paste
to see what you can come up with that means something to you.
(If desired) Presentation of
the Bride: Who brings this woman to be married this day? (Honored Escort
responds.)
Opening
Words
I.
Minister:
We gather joyfully this hour to witness the joining of this man and this
woman in the sacred bonds of matrimony. ____ and
_____ have chosen to exchange their vows beside the sea because like the
wonder of nature, their love for one another can never be contained
within four walls. They invite you to take a moment to enjoy the sound
of the roaring surf, the warmth of the sun, the smell of the fresh salt
air and the feel of the sand between between your toes. These are the
kinds of simple pleasures in life they wish to bring joy and wonder to
their union. Thank you for standing with them and granting them you
support on this, their wedding day.
II.
Minister:
We come together on happy occasions such as ____ and ____'s wedding
ceremony not to merely observe as two people pledge their love to one
another. Our presence also indicates our affirmation of their decision
to join together in marriage. Our
setting at the beach today reminds us of the inevitable changes life
will bring to ____ and ____. Just as the shoreline changes shape from
the forces of wind, water and sand, but this beach remains, they will
inevitably change as individuals and as a couple from the forces of time
and fortune, yet their marriage will endure. Our
blessings abound for ____ and ____ that they may be granted the beauty
and strength we see around us today.
III.
Minister:
_____ and _____ bid you welcome and express their gratitude for your
presence as they pledge their love and fidelity on this joyful this day. We gather
on this beach where the pounding of the surf, the light of the sun and
the glory that is nature represent the strength, power and grandeur ___
and ___wish to bring to their union. The
strength of their commitment, the power of their spirits and the
grandeur of their love bring us to this hour. May they always feel the
depth of these emotions like the depths of these waters and their
marriage endure in beauty and in faith.
Reading
____ and ____ have asked that
________________ come forward to read a passage they would like expressed on
their wedding day. (Or the Minister can certainly read the passage instead
of having an honored guest do so.)
I.
From "A NATURAL HISTORY OF LOVE"
~Diane Ackerman~
"Love. What a small word we use for an idea so immense and powerful. It has
altered the flow of history, calmed monsters, kindled works of art, cheered the
forlorn, turned tough guys to mush, consoled the enslaved, driven strong women
mad, glorified the humble, fueled national scandals, bankrupted robber barons,
and made mincemeat of kings. How can love's spaciousness be conveyed in the
narrow confines of one syllable? Love is an ancient delirium, a desire older
than civilization, with taproots spreading into deep and mysterious days. The
heart is a living museum. In each of its galleries, no matter how narrow or
dimly lit, preserved forever like wondrous diatoms, are our moments of loving,
and being loved."
II.
From "UNION"
~Robert Fulghum~
"You have known each other from the
first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you
decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you
have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those
conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks
- all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I
will and you will and we will”- those late night talks that included “someday”
and “somehow” and “maybe”- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of
the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.
The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another,
“ You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant
it all, every word.” Look at one another and
remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to
one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even
teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now
you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things
will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to
the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife "
III.
FROM
A GIFT FROM THE SEA
~by
Anne Morrow Lindbergh~
One recognizes the truth of Saint Exupery's line:
Love does not consist in gazing at each other. But in looking outward together
in the same direction. For in fact, man and woman are not only looking outward
in the same direction, they are working outward. Here one forms ties, roots, a
firm base....Here the bonds of marriage are formed. For marriage, which is always
spoken of as a bond, becomes actually, in this stage, many bonds, many strands,
of different texture and strength, making up a web that is taut and firm. The
web is fashioned of love. Yes, but many kinds of love: romantic love first, then
a slow-growing devotion and, playing through these, a constantly rippling
companionship. It is made of loyalties, and interdependencies, and shared
experiences. It is woven of memories of meetings and conflicts; of triumphs and
disappointments. ...The web of marriage is made by
propinquity, in the day to day living side by side, looking outward and working
outward in the same direction. It is woven in space and in time of the substance
of life itself.
Affirmation of Marriage
I.
Minister: ____ and ____, as you affirm your faith
and love for one another this day, I ask that you always remember to
hold each other as special and unique individuals. Respect one another's
dreams and ideas. Do not let grudges take root, but instead be forgiving
and compassionate. From this day forward you shall be each other's home
and refuge. Guard it well. Build strength through the beauty of love. This is
the core of your marriage and why you have come to make the pledges to
one another you are about to exchange. Trust yourself and trust one
another to know what is truly best for each of you and your marriage. A
healthy marriage requires dedication and the ability to remain open to
change--to learn and grow together. Have faith that even though you know not what the
future may bring, you go face it together. Hold true to the journey you
vow today to share forever.
II.
Minister: ____ and ____, I remind you of the
serious nature of the relationship you are about to enter. Your
marriage is a voluntary and absolute commitment you make to love one
another from this day forward.
For your marriage to succeed, you must be loyal each other, stand solid
in your defense of the other and support one another’s aspirations and
and dreams. It is a solemn, binding, challenging, yet ultimately
rewarding partnership. Many of around you
will not hesitate to share the challenges of marriage. Much less
frequently do we hear of the sublime joys of this sacred estate. I ask
you to keep your conflict private and make your bliss public.
Praise one another often and complain rarely. Find to bestow compliments
when criticisms seem to prevail. Renew the vows you are about to exchange
regularly and endeavor to keep them vibrant and fresh in your loving
hearts forever.
III.
Minister:
____ and ____, I ask that you both remember to treat yourselves and each
other with compassion and respect, and remind yourself often of the love
that brings you together this day. Give your marriage the tenderness and
kindness it deserves and needs to thrive. Acts of loving kindness open
the heart and magnify a love that knows no bounds. When frustration and
disappointment challenge your marriage - as is inevitable in every
relationship -
devote your attention to what is good between you, not just the part
that seems wrong at the time. Thus, when the storm
clouds of strife hide the sun in your lives you may recall the sun is
still there ready to shine brightly again by the diligence of your words
and deeds. If each of you take responsibility for the quality of your
marriage, your lives together will endure in beauty and delight.
Exchange of
Vows
Would you please turn to one another,
join hands and look into one another's eyes as you repeat after me? (Minister
prompts bride and groom in turn)
I.
____________, I cannot imagine
spending the
rest of my life with anyone but you.
I pledge my heart, my body and my
soul to our union. I promise to support you in your endeavors and
counsel you when you need my guidance.
I will accept your counsel
with
an open heart and open mind.
I will share my thoughts, dreams,
hopes and
fears with you.
I will hold you close
when you laugh and when you cry.
I
vow to be a strong individual within a solid union
so we may both
grow in love and wisdom
all the days of our lives.
II.
_______, I love you.
You are my best friend.
Today I, ____________, commit myself to you.
I promise to encourage and
inspire you,
to laugh with you, and to comfort you
in times of sorrow
and struggle.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad,
when life
seems easy and when it seems hard.
When our love is simple,
and when it
is an effort.
I promise to cherish you,
and to always hold you in
highest regard.
These things
I give to you,
from this
day forward.
III.
I love you ______ with all my heart and
soul,
as you are everything
that I could ever hope to find in a
woman/man.
You are loving, thoughtful,
and caring,
smart, and
beautiful/handsome in my eyes
and your love always makes me feel
like
the happiest and luckiest man/woman alive.
I am proud to have you as my
life's partner
and I promise that I will always be at your side,
through
good times and in bad,
and give you everything
that is in my power to grant
to
assure your health and happiness for as long as I live.
I am yours
forever. Blessing of Rings
Do we have the rings?
I.
Minister:
As circles have no beginning and no end, rings have naturally come to
symbolize eternal love within the union of mind, body, and spirit that
constitutes the sanctity of marriage. The are freely offered as gifts of
faith and hope as visible signs of the promises given this day. May
these rings be blessed and hold the dreams ____ and ____ share for their
union. May the shiny metal mirror the sacred vows made between them, now
and forever.
II.
Minister: Let us bless these rings. These circles, symbols that remind
us of the the sun that shines above us, the Earth holding the sand
beneath our feet and the cycle of the tides before us that rise and fall
against this beach. In this moment, bring blessings to these rings to be
symbols of unity, commitment and renewal. Grant that the love which
_____ and ____ feel for each other this day reside always in their
hearts.
III.
Minister:
_____ and _____'s rings are an external and visible sign of the internal
and spiritual bond of love which unites their two hearts. May they serve
as a seal of the vows ____ and ___ have made to one another. Bless these
rings, symbols of eternity, beauty and strength. Bless the couple who
give them and wear them--may they ever live in harmony, unity, love and
happiness from this day forward.
Ring Exchange
____ / ____, please repeat after me as you
place the ring on your beloved's left hand.
I.
I give this ring in remembrance of this
hour, a symbol of love that is complete, beautiful, and endless.
II.
Because this ring has no end or beginning,
it signifies the continuation of true love. As I place it on your
finger, I give you all that I am and ever hope to be.
III.
May this ring be a symbol of my promises to
you and a reminder of my devotion to you. I am honored to call you my
(wife/husband).
Unity Ritual
I.
Sand Ceremony
Minister: ________and _________, will you now step up to
this table and hold close to your heart the container of sand representing the
essence of all that you are and all that you bring to this union. As you do so,
remember that like these grains of sand your differences and uniqueness are a
wonderful gift that you give to one another, as important to your relationship
as your commonality and the strength of your togetherness. Once this sand is
poured it can never be separated, for it has moved on to create something new
and beautiful, that shall be forever shared, much in that same way that your
marriage will forever join your lives.
Bride and Groom come to to the table holding
the sand and each take
their own container of sand in hand
Will you now pour the sand that is to represent both your
individuality and your togetherness within your union?
Bride and Groom intermingle their sand
As you pour remember marriage is a promise to
be together in harmony and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. To
empower each other and allow your relationship to evolve to it's highest
purpose. To sing and dance together and be joyful. To care for one another,
share your lives with one another and to unite in spirits with every fiber of
your being. Bring your union to the foreground of your thoughts always and
through all of your moments together, so that in the triumphs and trials that
lie ahead, you will you will feel just as you do now - happy to be in love and
married to one another. Be at peace and live more and more in the present, which
is beautiful and stretches away beyond the limits of the past and towards the
horizons of the future.
Bride and Groom finish pouring their sand
And will you now seal the vessel as a reminder that
nothing is more important nor more sacred than the bond that you share as
husband and wife.
Bride and Groom seal the
vessel
II.
Knot Ceremony
Minister: At this time I ask ________ and ________'s
mothers to come forward to represent their respective families. These families
have raised and nurtured this man and this woman and helped them become the
person each holds most dear. It is right and fitting to acknowledge that now
these two previously separate circles of love are being united in a new and
wider circle.
_______, I ask you now to drape the cord over your
son's wrist. This cord represents all the wishes and blessings your family
bestows upon your child, all that he is now and all that he may become.
_______, I ask you now to drape the cord over your
daughter's wrist. This cord represents all the wishes and blessings your family
bestows upon your child, all that she is now and all that she may become.
________ and ________ please tie these cords over
your children's hands as a visual symbol of the joining of your two families
through their hearts, bodies and souls. Our prayer today is that their marriage
endure in faith and fidelity knowing they have the blessing and support of the
families that gave them life, hope and love.
(Minister
places a hand over the knot.)
At this time
I ask everyone present to join in a moment of silence as we think about
the blessings we wish for _____ and _____'s marriage.
(Minister
removes the knot and hands it to an attendant for safe keeping).
So may it
ever be.
III.
Wine
Ceremony
Minister: It is the goal of marriage to achieve a blending of hearts and
lives—but let there be spaces in your new life together, so that each may
encourage and nurture the individual growth of the other. Even so, your separate
lives will become one life; your separate homes, one home, your separate
fortunes, one fortune.
Over the horizon of the future, there come toward you even now
hours of brightness and hours of shadow, for such is the nature of life.
(Pick up the goblet of sweet wine.)
Life has, indeed, many bright and happy experiences, of which
this sweet wine is a token. As you drink of it together, may it serve as a
symbol of the joy that comes with loving and sharing, and may your happiness be
tempered with gratitude and modesty and a bountiful sympathy for those who are
less fortunate than you.
(Pass goblet to partner #1, who drinks and passes it to
partner #2, who drinks and passes it back to you. Return goblet to table and
pick up goblet of bitter wine.)
But when hardship and sorrow and disappointment come, of which
this bitter wine is a token, may you care enough to help one another with
courage and compassion, neither one blaming the other for folly or failure, or
regretting the obligation of marriage to share and bear together the chances and
changes of a life deeply lived.
(Goblet is passed as above.)
Additional Marriage Ritual
I.
Butterfly Release
Minister: The
caterpillar is a lowly being, bound to the earth and bemoaned as an
indiscriminate consumer of abundant vegetation. Yet this homely creature, with
patience, care and sustenance becomes a venerated symbol of dignity and beauty.
We
now ask that you open the envelopes presented to you when you arrived today. The
release of these butterflies is important to (bride) and (groom) because it
demonstrates their commitment to the cycle of life.
<guests release butterflies>
What
is held captive cannot thrive. But when granted freedom in an environment of
opportunity and respect, lives to bring about another generation. May (bride)
and (groom's) marriage last as long as the offspring of these butterflies endure
in grace and liberty.
II.
Bell of Truce
Minister: Bells have long been associated with weddings as their joyous
tones announce good tidings. I present this bell to _____ and ______. I
ask them to give the bell a hardy ring while thinking lovely thoughts
about one another and their future life together.
<couple rings bell>
_____ and ______, keep this bell in your
home to remind you of your wedding day. When arguments arise, and they
will, put this bell to its best use. One of you should ring the bell to
call a truce. Its sound will remind you of your wedding vows, conjure up
the happiest memories from this day and help you resolve our differences
lovingly and compassionately.
Some couples also distribute small bell
favors to the guests and have them ring the bells when they have been
pronounced husband and wife.
III.
Flower
Ceremony
Minister: ________ and _______ have invited you here today because
they consider you an important part of their union. Your presence today helps
sanctify the public proclamation of a personal desire to unite as one. _____ and
______ wish to represent your continued presence in the life of their marriage
and invite you to come forward and place a flower in this vase representing your
blessings and support of their union. As you place the flower in the vase please
keep foremost in your mind and heart your best wishes for the strength and
beauty of _____ and _____'s marriage.
<Musical Interlude as guests are motioned to come forward by row to place
their flower in the vase.>
Minister: ______ and ______, your friends and family have shared with your
their desire and blessings for a successful marriage. Honor their support by the
loving words, compassionate acts and caring deeds that will govern your
marriage. Display this floral arrange in a prominent location in your home that
in times of discord you may turn to its beauty and remember this day so that all
disagreements may be resolved with respect and loving kindness.
IV.
Wish Upon
A Shell
Minister: At this time, would everyone please take
a shell from the basket and follow me to the shoreline. On each shell you will
find written ______ and _____'s names and today's date--the day they begin their
life together as husband and wife. Please take a moment to think about the
future of their union. Make a wish, say a prayer or just think a special thought
for this happy couple....and then toss your shell into the ocean where your
hopes and dreams will become one of the universe and join the well wishes of all
of us gathered here today.
Marriage Blessing
I.
Minister:
Behold our family here assembled. We thank you for this place in which
we dwell, for the love that unites us, for the peace accorded us this
day, for the hope with which we expect the morrow, for the health, the
work, the food, and the bright skies that make our lives delightful; for
our friends in all parts of the earth. Bless this marriage with all the
gifts for which we give thanks this day.
II.
Minister:
Bless this marriage, as ____________ and ______________ begin their journey
through life together. May your home be filled with laughter and warm embraces.
May you find peacefulness and beauty, challenge, and satisfaction, humor and
insight, healing and renewal, love and wisdom, within your union. Cleave to one
another that you may always feel what you have is more than enough.
III.
Minister: May your mornings bring
joy and your evenings bring peace. May your troubles grow few as your blessings
increase. May the saddest day of your future Be no worse than the happiest day
of your past.May your hands be forever clasped in friendship And your hearts
joined forever in love. Your lives are very special, God has touched you in many
ways. May his blessings rest upon you And fill all your coming days.
Declaration of Marriage
I.
Minister:
What _________ and ____________ have brought together in the bonds of love, let
not these bonds be broken. For as much as you have exchanged vows of sacred
matrimony and symbolized your intent with the giving and receiving of rings, it
is my pleasure as a Minister in the state of Florida to pronounce you husband
and wife.
You may kiss your bride.
II.
Minister: ____ and
____ , you have pledged yourselves to one another in love, compassion,
righteousness and truth and symbolized your vows with the giving and
receiving of rings. In the presence of these witnesses it is my honor
and joy as a member of the clergy in the state of Florida to pronounce
you husband and wife. You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.
III.
Minister: _________ and __________, as you have exchanged vows of love in our presence,
pledged your faith and declared your unity by each giving and receiving a ring, and, as you are now
joined together in mutual esteem and devotion, it is my joy and privilege as a
Minister in the state of Florida to pronounce you
joined in matrimony. Please begin your marriage with a kiss.
It is with great joy I introduce for the first time, Mr. & Mrs.
______________________!
I would be a dismal excuse
for a mathematician, but if I'm figuring this out correctly there are at least
thirty different weddings that can be configured from the "menu" above. Each of
these weddings would last approximately fifteen minutes, certainly no more than
twenty.
This is much like what I do when I work with a couple to help craft a
wedding. We first decide which elements are meaningful, place them in an order
of service and then pick the sentiments the couple wants expressed. Many times I have
written something previously that may simply need a little tweaking. But I am
always delighted to encounter a request that allows me to write something
entirely new.
So take a few minutes with
a cut and a paste and see if you can piece together a ceremony that would leave
them sobbing by the shore. Opening II, Reading III, Affirmation I, Vows II,
Blessing III, etc....
|
Build a Beach Wedding
