| Many people assume a civil service is a
short dry wedding that is essentially a cookie cutter ceremony non-religious
people must resort to with a Justice of the Peace or Notary Public. Not true!
Whether a religious humanist, non-theist or simply wish to place the focus on
the union rather than on any particular religious beliefs, a civil service is
just the thing and can be as beautiful and meaningful as a religious wedding.
This civil service was for a couple who wanted to include their parents in the
ceremony as much as possible.
- Processional
- Presentation of the Couple
- Opening Words
- Honoring the Parents
- Reading from "The Irrational Season" by Madeleine L'Engle
- Affirmation of Marriage
- Exchange of Vows
- Exchange of Rings
- Bell of Truce
- Closing Words
- Declaration of Marriage
- Presentation of the Couple
- Recessional
Processional
Presentation of the Couple
Who presents this man and this woman to be united in marriage?
Families respond “We do.”
Opening Words
We are gathered here this day, not to witness a beginning of what shall be,
but to celebrate and affirm what already is. __________ and __________ have
invited you to share the public declaration of what has already been united in
their hearts. Their wedding celebrates the joy and beauty of life.
Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience and an adventure in the most
intimate of human relationships. It is the joyous uniting of a man and a woman
whose comradeship and mutual understanding have blossomed into romance. Today,
_____ and ______ proclaim their love to the world and we who are gathered here
rejoice with them and for the new life they now undertake together.
Honoring the Parents
When two people come together, it is right and good that they give thanks to
those who nurtured them. Today, ________ and ______ would like to give honor to
_______________ and _____________, and all those whose love and support have
made this day possible. They present their families with a small token of their
esteem.
<couple presents their parents with a gift of their choosing>
Reading from "The Irrational Season" by Madeleine L'Engle
But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately
two people who love each other must ask themselves how muh they hope for as
their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take…It is
indeed a fearful gamble…Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage
itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new
creature.
To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take…If we
commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a
rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks
of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not
possession, but participation…It takes a lifetime to learn another person…When
love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation
which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often
rejected.
Affirmation of Marriage
______ and _______, the joy you feel now is a solemn joy as marriage is an
estate weighty with consequences both social and personal. Your marriage
requires love, a word often used too freely and with weak sentimentality. For
your marriage, love must be something very real, but not binding. Love between a
husband and wife results in surprising freedom and enriching fulfillment. Your
love allows you to see things we cannot see. You see beneath the surface and
observe qualities in one another that make you different and dearer than all
others. Your loving eyes view the inner beauty and see and know what is seen and
known by no other.
This love is dynamic. _____ and _____, you must not fear, but rather embrace
the changes that comes with the growth of your love. The love of husband and
wife generates the courage and confidence needed to live together within the
embracing bond of marriage. Cultivate your affection and consideration for one
another to give you strength when drawing upon your capacity for self-sacrifice,
patience and forbearance,
Marriage is a dedication. You give yourself, your life and your love into the
trusting hands of the one you love. You bestow this gift generously. Likewise,
each of you receives this boundless gift, the life and love of the other. A gift
you received from your families who nurtured you and your friends who are joined
in loving friendship and support for your marriage.
_____ and _____, the promises you declare now will cross the years and touch
the lives of many people and help them to develop a true sense of love, honor
and commitment. Do you intend to pledge yourselves to one another in the exalted
estate of marriage?
We do.
Exchange of Vows
Please turn to one another and join hands. <Bride / Groom> please repeat
after me.
I, _______, take you _________,
to be no other than yourself.
Loving what I know of you,
trusting what I don't yet know;
With respect for your integrity
and faith in your abiding love for
me;
In all that life may bring us,
I pledge my love all the rest of our days.
Exchange of Rings
Made from metals drawn from deep within the earth, may these rings remind you
that your love, also, must be drawn from deep within you. Forged in heat and
with great effort, may these rings remind you that your marriage is also crafted
daily and tempered in the forge of daily giving and forgiving. Bright like the
sun, may these rings remind you that your love is meant to illumine your lives.
Round like arms that embrace, may these rings remind you that human love is a
gift to this world.
_____, please repeat after me as you place the ring on _____‘s finger.
_____ I give you this ring
as a symbol of my love.
As it encircles your finger,
may it remind you always
that you are surrounded by my
enduring love.
The Bell of Truce
Bells have long been associated with weddings as their joyous tones announce
good tidings. I present this bell to _____ and ______. I ask them to give the
bell a hardy ring while thinking lovely thoughts about one another and their
future life together.
<couple rings bell>
_____ and ______, keep this bell in your home to remind you of your wedding
day. When arguments arise, and they will, put this bell to its best use. One of
you should ring the bell to call a truce. Its sound will remind you of your
wedding vows, conjure up the happiest memories from this day and help you
resolve our differences lovingly and compassionately.
Closing Words
We cannot know what the future may bring to _____ and ____, but our hopes and
dreams go with them. May they find patience in times of stress, strength in
times of weakness, courage in times of discouragement, vision in times of doubt,
and in all time an abiding love. We hope the inspiration of this hour will not
be forgotten and their love endure.
Declaration of Marriage
As ____ and ____ have pledged to one another in love, compassion,
righteousness and truth and symbolized with the giving and receiving of rings.
In the presence of these witnesses it is my honor and joy to pronounce them
husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride!
<bride and groom kiss>
Presentation of the Couple
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce for the first time, Mr.
and Mrs. ___________!
Recessional
|
Civil / Secular
