Initial Consultation

In This Section

Sample Weddings
Exchange of Vows
Blessing of Rings
Exchange of Rings
Readings
Unity Rituals
Additional Rituals
Blessings
Style and Tone
Order of Service
Initial Consultation

 Check Calendar for Possible Availability

When you see a Red X with the words "Contract Pending" on the calendar, the date and time may still be available. If you see such a conflict, I will be happy to contact the couple to see if they intend to confirm their booking.

First, the obvious details.

• Names

• Wedding Date and Time

• Wedding Location

• Mail, Telephone and Email Contact Information

• Rehearsal Information if Applicable

Next, an idea of the type and scope of ceremony.

• Will the ceremony be held indoors or outdoors?

• What is the approximate number of guests anticipated to attend?

• Will your wedding be casual, semi-formal, formal or high-formal in appearance?

• Will your wedding be light-hearted, contemporary, traditional, etc. in tone?

• How would the couple like me attired? simple dress, business suit with or without clerical collar, ministerial robes

And then, some details about the wedding party.

• Will the bride be escorted down the aisle and presented to the groom? i.e. "Who brings this woman to be married this day?"

• If so, by whom and what is the relationship to the bride?

• Will there be a maid of honor and best man?

• How many attendants (bridesmaids and groomsmen) will there be on each side besides the honor attendants?

• Will there be any flower girls or ring bears?

• If so, how old will they be at the time of the wedding?

Now we turn our attention to expectations within the ceremony itself.

• Would a memorial statement for friends and family unable to attend or deceased be appropriate?

• If so, for whom and what is their relationship to the bride and groom.

• Are there any cultural, ethnic or family traditions the couple would like to include? Jumping of the Broom, Gaelic blessing, Thirteen Coins, etc.

• Are there any religious or spiritual traditions the couple would like to include or honor?

• In what format would you like your vows? Responsive ("I do"), Repetitive ("repeat after me..."), self-written or a combination or styles.

• Would you like a unification ritual? i.e. sand, candle, wine, handfasting, etc.

• Would you like some other ritual included in the ceremony? i.e. butterfly release, blessing of the hands, pouring of libations, etc.

• Do the bride and groom have children they would like to include and recognize ceremonially?

• Are there any special requests I have not addressed?

I walk the couple through an outline of an order of service showing them how the ritual builds upon itself and the elements begin to acquire a deeper meaning within the context of the ceremony. I explain that the average wedding ceremony lasts all of 15 minutes. The state of Florida requires three things to be legally married. A valid marriage license, an exchange of vows and an authorized person to declare the couple married. Everything else is an opportunity for personalizing the affirmation of the couple's pledge to one another. Each element will add just a few moments, so anyone's fear (usually the groom's) that the wedding will drag on and on are unfounded.

I explain my responsibilities and assure the couple I will not double book (although recently I was mortified to learn I accepted a consultation with a couple interested in a date and time for which I already had a contract pending -- That will never happen again!)  I let them know what time they can expect me prior to the wedding. I am always early so I am not responsible for adding to anyone's stress. I describe the license process in Florida and tell them it is my responsibility to file it and how I go about doing that.

We review the contract which includes an explanation of officiating fees and legal considerations of marriage as a civil contract. I do not accept the deposit and contract on the spot. Instead I believe a couple should take the time to discuss what they have seen and heard and perhaps interview other potential officiants. Every couple should be completely comfortable with whomever they choose to preside at their wedding ceremony. I provide a self-addressed stamped return envelope so the couple can return the contract and deposit at their leisure.