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Sarah and Jonathan
The Tides, Patrick
Air Force Base
June 19, 2010
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Your
wedding will be wonderful. It will, I promise. I won a prize at a
newlywed reception on my honeymoon cruise for having the most things
go wrong at a wedding and mine was spectacular. Eighteen years later
the entire day remains a cherished memory. Your wedding will be just
fine. Unless you decide to tell them, most people won't even notice
anything has gone awry. Even if you flub your vows, your wedding
will be beautiful.
First thing you should know is weddings go faster than you think. A
lot faster! If your wedding is intended to result in a legal
marriage, all the state requires is a valid marriage license, an
exchange of vows and a legally authorized individual to declare you
married. Not very romantic, is it? This means everything beyond
legal requirements is an opportunity for you to express yourselves
and what your marriage means to you.
The following questions may help you begin to visualize a service to
engage you and your guests.
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What type of ceremony do you want? - civil, spiritual or
religious
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What should the tone of the service be? - funny, light-hearted,
more solemn
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Are there any family traditions that should be included in the
ceremony?
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Are there any cultural traditions or influences that should be
included in the ceremony?
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What role will music have in the service?
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Will you write your own vows or choose from a selection of
pre-written vows?
A capable wedding officiant should be able to easily guide you
through these questions and be able to offer suggestions and
alternatives based on your answers. Such consultation between the
couple and the officiant will result in a unique, memorable and
eloquent expression of your loving relationship.
A Few Words of Advice
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The Groom's Grandmother reading
"The Art of Marriage" by Wilferd Peterson
June 16, 2010
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Readings
Readings can add a personal touch to your wedding if you choose a
passage of scripture, a poem, or a selection of prose meaningful to
you. This particular element is a great way to honor someone
important to you who is not petrified of speaking on public or your
officiant can read what you have chosen. If you do ask one of your
guests to read during your ceremony, please warn the individual
ahead of time. Half-way through the service is not the greatest time
for the reader to find out about such an honor. Yes, I've seen this
happen.
If you include more than one reading try to keep one or both on the
short side. I encourage couples to refrain from including more than
two. Long readings or too many readings are a great way to hypnotize
your guests, and I suspect that's not the goal.
Here are some sites containing suggestions for appropriate wedding
readings.
Music
Music evokes strong emotion so it is a natural part of ritual. Most
of us are familiar with the music played during the processional and
the recessional, but you can include music within the ceremony
itself. I had a soloist sing a piece at my wedding my parents had
sung at theirs. Though being way back in 1993, I can't remember when
in the order of service she sang it.
If you would like to include music within the ceremony, I encourage
you to have something else going on at the same time. The two and a
half minutes it takes to sing a song feels like an eternity when you
are standing in front of your guests staring at one another.
Consider greeting your guests, having witnesses come forward to sign
your license and certificate or present your parents or attendants
with a token of your appreciation.
Unfortunately, music does not work well during rituals such as the
unity candle and sand ceremony. These rituals do not last very long
and are generally accompanied by the officiant guiding the couple
through the ritual while explaining the symbolism. Soft background
music can work nicely to capture the mood during these rituals, but
the music itself will not be the focual point and should not drown
out your officiant's voice.
