|
I was married over fifteen years ago and the
priest who married my husband and me did not provide us with a
printed copy of our service. I have to be honest and admit I haven't
a clue what was said unless I wade through a two hour wedding video
of declining quality. I do remember the unity candle, the soloist
who sang "The Call" (it was sung at my parent's wedding) and the
priest who spoke for a long time.
Goodness we look like children!
Unfortunately, there are very few photographs of the ceremony itself
because my bloody veil covered the entire right side of my body and
hid my face. Remember that. Without further ado, here is the wedding
ceremony I would cobble together if my husband and I were to do it
all over again. He would absolutely be in a Prince Charlie
jacket and a kilt.
Processional
Presentation of the Bride
Minister: Who brings this woman to be married
this day?
Her Mother and Father: We do, her parents. (both of my parents
would escort me down the aisle this time)
Opening Words
Minister: Dearly beloved, we have come together
in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of
this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The union of husband and
wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual
joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and
adversity. Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into
unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in
accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted.
Declaration of Intent
Minister: The covenant of marriage is one that can be entered
into only by persons who are both legally and spiritually free to
offer themselves to each other. Therefore, in the presence of these
witnesses, I ask Jamie and Ann to state their intention. Have you
come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each
other in the holy state of matrimony?
We have.
Blessing of the Parents
Minister: From time immemorial, weddings such as this one have
been public occasions where family and friends gather to express the
joy and approval they feel for the new couple. Let me therefore ask
the parents: Do you, John and Barbara Stewart and John and Margaret
Armitage, who have raised and nurtured these two, give your
blessings to them as they enter into this new relationship, and do
you aspire in the days and years ahead to give them your deepest
love, understanding, and support during both good times and bad? If
so, please say, “We do.”
A Reading From Paul's
Letter to the Colossians 3:12-14
Groom’s Brother:
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe
yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and
patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you
may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And
over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in
perfect unity.
Affirmation of
Marriage
Minister: Love is the
most exalted of human experiences. It reduces our selfishness,
deepens our personalities, and makes life far more meaningful. Its
very nature is to want to give to another, and to engender joy in
one another. Such love can call forth the best qualities in each of
you. Love between man and woman, like any other love, is a love
generous in offering and generous in receiving. It is full of
laughter, mercy and rejoicing. Love nourishes but it does not
possess; in love we affirm one another but do not dominate. To love
is not to win or lose, but to help and to be helped.
The simplicity of first
love appears to be a self-enclosed world—two people listening to
each other, making one world between them. There are no others in
the perfect unity of that instant It is free of ties or claims,
unburdened by responsibilities, by worry about the future or debts
to the past.
As two people grow
together and the bonds of marriage are formed a web is fashioned of
love—many kinds of love: romantic love first, then a slow-growing
devotion and, playing through these, a constantly rippling
companionship. It is made of loyalties, and interdependencies, and
shared experiences. It is woven of memories of meetings and
conflicts, of triumphs and disappointments. It is a web of
communication, a common language, knowing one another’s likes and
dislikes, habits and reactions, both physical and mental. It is a
web of instincts and intuitions, and known and unknown exchanges.
The web of marriage is
made in the daily living side by side, looking outward and working
outward in the same direction. It is woven in space and in time, of
the substance of life itself.
A strong and healthy marriage is an eternal gift we cultivate
within the context of our lives. But bear in mind that eternity is
something other than endless time. It is outside of time. It is not
the past and not the future, but now. This moment. But as soon as we
contemplate the moment it is gone. That is eternity. So if one seeks
a relationship of love throughout eternity, it must be a continual
process of the here and the now.
Symbolically you have been brought together as one, yet are still
two separate people with unique ideas, talents and ways of being.
Respect and value those differences and your relationship will
flourish. In the words of Kahlil Gibran, “Give your hearts, but not
into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain
your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together. For the
pillars of the temple stand apart and the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other’s shadow. But let there be spaces in your
togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.”
Jamie and Ann, it is not
to lofty words or institutions that we appeal at this hour of
commitment, but to the resources which you draw from deep within
yourselves
Exchange of Vows
Minister: Will you
please turn to one another, join hands and in so doing join your
hearts. Ann, please repeat after me as you look in Jamie’s eyes.
I Ann, take you Jamie
to be my lawfully
wedded husband.
I offer my friendship
and trust in you,
remaining faithful
and understanding
in good times and in
bad.
I pledge my heart,
body and soul to our union.
I promise to support
you in your endeavors,
counsel you when you
need guidance,
and accept your
counsel
with an open heart
and mind.
I will share my
thoughts,
my hopes and my fears
with you.
I will hold you close
when you laugh and
when you cry.
I vow to be a strong
individual
within a solid union
so we may both grow
in love and wisdom
all the days of our
lives.
Minister: Jamie, please
repeat after me as you look in Ann’s eyes.
I Jamie, take you Ann
to be my lawfully
wedded wife.
I offer my friendship
and trust in you,
remaining faithful
and understanding
in good times and in
bad.
I pledge my heart,
body and soul to our union.
I promise to support
you in your endeavors,
counsel you when you
need guidance,
and accept your
counsel
with an open heart
and mind.
I will share my
thoughts,
my hopes and my fears
with you.
I will hold you close
when you laugh and
when you cry.
I vow to be a strong
individual
within a solid union
so we may both grow
in love and wisdom
all the days of our
lives.
Blessing of the Rings
Minister: Do we have the rings? Bless
this precious circle of gold—symbol of the sun, the earth and the
universe, of wholeness, perfection, peace and love. Because this
ring has no end or beginning, it signifies the continuation of true
love. May these rings be a symbol of the promises you have made to
one another and a reminder of your mutual devotion—a symbol of love
that is complete, beautiful, and endless. May your rings be a
reminder of the sacred covenant you have made today.
Exchange of Ring
Minister: Jamie, please look into Ann’s eyes
and repeat after me as you place the ring on her finger.
This
ring I give to you
as a
token of my love and devotion.
I
pledge to you all that I am
and
all that I will ever be
as
your husband.
With
this ring, I gladly marry you
and
join my life to yours.
Minister: Ann please look into Jamie’s eyes and repeat after me
as you place the ring on his finger.
This
ring I give to you
as a
token of my love and devotion.
I
pledge to you all that I am
and
all that I will ever be
as
your wife.
With
this ring, I gladly marry you
and
join my life to yours.
Wine Ceremony
Minister: It is the goal of marriage to achieve
a blending of hearts and lives—but let there be spaces in your new
life together, so that each may encourage and nurture the individual
growth of the other. Even so, your separate lives will become one
life; your separate homes, one home. Over the horizon of the future,
there come toward you even now hours of brightness and hours of
shadow, for such is the nature of life.
(Pick up the goblet of sweet wine.)
Life has, indeed, many bright and happy
experiences, of which this sweet wine is a token. As you drink of it
together, may it serve as a symbol of the joy that comes with loving
and sharing, and may your happiness be tempered with gratitude and
modesty and a bountiful sympathy for those who are less fortunate
than you.
(Pass goblet to Jamie, who drinks and passes
it to Ann, who drinks and passes it back to the minister.. Return
goblet to table and pick up goblet of bitter wine.)
But when hardship and sorrow and disappointment
come, of which this bitter wine is a token, may you care enough to
help one another with courage and compassion, neither one blaming
the other for folly or failure, or regretting the obligation of
marriage to share and bear together the chances and changes of a
life deeply lived.
(Goblet is passed as above.)
Community Vow of Support
Minister: Now that you have heard Jamie and Ann
pledge themselves to one another, do you, their family and friends,
promise from this day forward, to encourage them and love them, and
to help guide and support them in being steadfast in the promises
they have made?” If you agree, please say, “We do.”
Reading:
I invite Ann's sister to come forward at this time.
by Robert Burns
O my luve
is like a red, red rose, that's newly sprung in June:
O
my luve is like the melodie, That's sweetly played in tune.
As
fair art thou, my bonie lass, So deep in luve am I;
And
I will luve thee still, my dear, Till a` the seas gang dry.
Till a` the seas gang dry, my dear, And the rocks melt wi` the sun;
And
I will luve thee still my dear, While the sands o` life shall run.
And
fare thee weel, my only luve! And fare thee weel a while!
And
I will come again, my luve, Tho' it were ten thousand mile.
Blessing of the Marriage
Minister: A thousand welcomes to you
with your marriage. May you be healthy all your days. May you be
blessed with long life and peace, may you grow old with goodness,
and with riches.
Declaration of Marriage
In as much as Jamie and Ann have desired each
other in marriage, and have witnessed this before God and our
gathering, affirming their acceptance of the responsibilities of
such a union, and have pledged their love and faith to each other,
sealing their vows in the giving and receiving of rings, I now
pronounce they are husband and wife. Let all people here and
everywhere recognize and respect this holy union, now and
forever. You may kiss your bride.
Introduction of the Couple
It is my distinct joy and honor to introduce
for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Jamie Fuller.
As for me, I would wear a much lighter dress
and absolutely no shoes of any sort. Yes, there would be bagpipes.
Or even better, The Proclaimers live! |
If I Had it to Do Over
