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Rites of passage are an important part of human life whether we are members of a religious community, consider ourselves "spiritual but not religious," or are completely secular. Our loved ones gather with us to celebrate our greatest happiness or alleviate our deepest pain. Our joys are multiplied and our sorrows divided in a communal context in which ritual, whether religious or secular, is involved. This site is primarily devoted to weddings, but it is my pleasure and an honor to assist you with commitment and vow renewal ceremonies, child dedications and baptisms, or memorial services and funerals - any ritual for which you feel a professional celebrant would be most appropriate.

Registration now open for the autumn marriage education class!


In This Section

Officiating Fees
Officiant Etiquette
Your Officiant Matters
Frequently Asked Questions
Initial Consultation
What I Won't Do

Free Website Calendars by Bravenet.com

 

 Check Calendar for Possible Availability

If you see a Red thumbtack with the words "Contract Pending" on the calendar, the date and time may still be available. If you see such a conflict, I will be happy to contact the couple to see if they intend to confirm their booking.

 

 

Photo by Corey Dorsey & Nicholas Kinn at
CN Through The Lens Photography

May 5, 2009

Although I am a member of the clergy and serve a church, many of my independent weddings are with couples who seek my services because of being inter-faith or having no active affiliation with a religious institution; resulting in essentially secular or "spiritual but not religious" ceremonies.
 
The following are the most common questions I encounter. Some are asked outright and others are broached tentatively. Please let me know if you think any other subjects should be added to this page. 
 

Do you provide premarital counseling?

Do you require premarital counseling?

We are not UU, more spiritual than religious, not religious at all, members of two different religious, is that a problem?

We are expecting a baby. Is that a problem?

How much do you charge?

We are on an extremely tight budget, but don't want to just show up at the court house, is there anything you can do for us?

Why does it cost so much for 20 - 30 minutes of work?

Do you officiate ceremonies for same gender couples?

Do you perform wedding ceremonies for couples who are already legally married?

Do you perform commitment ceremonies for couples who do not want a legal marriage?

"Do you perform simple legal ceremonies for couples having a more elaborate wedding celebration later?"

What is the best way to reach you?

What are your office hours?

How involved will you be in the ceremony?

How will you be dressed?

Are we obligated to invite our officiant to the rehearsal dinner and/or reception?

Are we supposed to tip our officiant?

Do we have to use one of the weddings on your website?

We checked your calendar and see you might already be booked, should we still contact you?

Is there anything you refuse to do?

 

 

 

"What kinds of services do you perform?"

 

I perform a full range of ministerial services and rites of passages, but primarily officiate:

Weddings & Commitment Ceremonies

Memorial Services

Child Dedications

    
"Where will you perform them?"

 

All over Central Florida!  I include travel expenses within my fees so you can budget easily. The majority of weddings I officiate are held in Brevard County, but I also have experience in and around the Orlando area and in Indian River County. I am willing to travel beyond these areas, and although I am brilliant, must admit you are likely to find a perfectly capable local celebrant without the extra travel expenses associated with my ministry.

 

 

"Do you provide premarital counseling?"

 

Short answer: Yes

 

Long answer: Yes, but.... "Premarital counseling" is a common term, but I prefer to call it marriage education or premarital preparation. Counseling implies the need for a therapeutic process in order to solve a problem. Most couples simply need to be exposed to a realistic view of marriage, share their expectations with one another, learn decision-making techniques and communication skills and come to an agreement regarding the major issues to affect the marriage relationship in our contemporary society. My approach to marriage education is addressed on my website here.

 

 

"Do you require premarital counseling?"

 

Short answer: No

 

Long answer: No, but...the value of premarital preparation is beyond measure. Divorced couples and successfully married couples experience about the same number of conflicts. The outcome is dependent upon how conflict is addressed and resolved. Premarital preparation is a wise investment in the health and sustainability of your partnership. My approach to marriage education is addressed on my website here.

 

 

"We are...

  • not Unitarian Universalist

  • more spiritual than religious

  • not religious at all

  • members of two different religions

                 ...is that a problem?"

 

Absolutely not. Unitarian Universalism is a non-creedal denomination with a living tradition that includes:

Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life;

Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love;

Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life;

Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves;

Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit.

Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.

My training and education enables me to craft a wide variety of services that address the needs of most religious traditions and the non-religious alike. 

 

 

"We are expecting a baby. Is that a problem?"

 

Only if you expect me to help with the 2:00 a.m. feedings.

 

I see no reason why your union should not be blessed and solemnized because you will be parents soon. I do highly recommend a marriage preparation course. I think all couples can find value in such programs, but they are particularly important for parents-to-be. Marriage will change your relationship and parenthood combined with being newlyweds is an adjustment that should be anticipated realistically. If you are marrying because you are expecting a baby and not because you have already made the decision you cannot live without one another, I would recommend you wait or go through a marriage preparation course to help you decide if marriage is the right decision.

 

 

"How much do you charge?"

 

My fees for weddings, commitment ceremonies and vow renewals are entirely dependent upon the needs of your ceremony. A full explanation of the free consultation process, my price range and payment options are found on the Fees page of this site.

 

My fees for funerals, memorial services, baby and child dedications, adoption ceremonies, and other rites of passage are generally voluntary honorariums.

 

 

"We are on an extremely tight budget, but don't want to just show up at the court house, is there anything you can do for us?"

 

There are only three things required in order to be legally married in the state of Florida: a valid marriage license, an exchange of vows, and an authorized party to declare you married. Not very romantic, is it? The ritual of a wedding ceremony truly does have an impact on the psychological and emotional state of the couple. As silly as it sounds, you really do "feel more married" when you engage in a ritual rather than simply appear before the clerk of courts. I am happy to provide the essentials in my small wedding package providing a traditional wedding that is an intimate ceremony or private elopement.

 

 

"Why does it cost so much for 20 - 30 minutes of work?"

 

It is completely understandable for couples and their guests to assume officiants earn an unusually high amount of money for simply prompting the couple through their vows and pronouncing them husband and wife, but that is only part of the story albeit the most visible part. 

 

Competent officiants spend time before the wedding pulling the pieces together and ensuring the desired flow of the ceremony. Time may be spent helping the couple customize vows, decide between a unity candle or a sand ceremony, and/or writing the opening words, a homily and a blessing. Ceremony composition is far more time-consuming than the joyful occasion itself.

 

Officiants are often present well before the service to calm nerves or confer with a wedding consultant, the DJs, the photographer and other wedding vendors. We are usually asked to stay for a portrait photo....sometimes waiting for a long receiving line to conclude or family portraits to be taken first. In the case of weddings at my home church, I'm often the one putting the sanctuary back in order following the ceremony.

 

Officiants in Florida are also responsible for ensuring accurate completion of the marriage license and we often take responsibility for submitting it to the appropriate county Clerk of Court. There are travel and/or postage expenses associated with this responsibility. I also like to provide a more attractive keepsake Marriage Certificate for every couple I marry regardless of size and scope of their wedding.

 

We must also acknowledge that wedding officiating is a business with accompanying expenses. Officiants must advertise, maintain home offices, have internet access, make long-distance phone calls and travel to the ceremony among other costs.

 

Your officiant is a professional every bit as much as your caterer and your photographer. This is why I highly encourage prospective couples to consult with several officiants before selecting the one who will preside at their ceremony. Consultations help determine personality fit and assess professionalism on the part of the officiant. Nothing can ruin a ceremony faster than having an officiant who cannot write or assemble an eloquent ceremony, mumbles, flubs names and is incapable of maintaining the flow of the service.

 

 

"Do you officiate ceremonies for same gender couples?"

 

Yes I do. While weddings and commitment ceremonies performed in Florida are symbolic only and do not result in any legal protections for the couple, I am most happy to solemnize the public proclamation of a same gender couple's desire to live together as spouses. I do not charge my full fee because there is no paperwork to file with the county or state.

 

 

"Do you perform wedding ceremonies for couples who are already legally married?"

 

Yes I do. There are any number of reasons why a couple may have already had their marriage recognized by the state, but now want a full wedding celebration with their friends and family present. These services are essentially no different from other weddings, except for not having to deal with the legal paperwork as that was done in the past. There are no rules. The ceremony can be as traditional or eclectic as the couple would like. Some want the liturgy of the ceremony to sound as if their marriage begins that day and others want the words changed a little bit to acknowledge they are already married. Simply a matter of personal preference.

 

 

"Do you perform commitment ceremonies for couples who do not want a legal marriage?"

 

Yes I do. There are any number of reasons why a couple may want to pledge themselves to one another while not seeking legal status as married under state law. Some of the language in a traditional wedding ceremony must be changed. For example, I cannot declare you married though I can declare you united in love from this day forward. I discuss these types of weddings further and have an example of a symbolic ceremony in the sample ceremonies section of my website.

 

 

"Do you perform simple legal ceremonies for couples having a more elaborate wedding celebration later?"

 

Yes I do. I have performed simple legal ceremonies for couples about to sail on a cruise who plan on having a symbolic wedding on board. I have performed a simple legal ceremony for a couple who wanted to marry before the husband was deployed and will have a grand wedding celebration when he returns from overseas. I have performed a simple legal ceremony for a couple who wanted their elderly parents in Florida to witness their legal marriage ceremony and planned a big event for the rest of their friends and family in Colorado.

 

 

"What is the best way to reach you?"

 

With a variety of intermittent appointments and three children, the most reliable means of communication is via email. This also allows for a written record of expectations. I am more than happy to speak with you over the telephone but may need to schedule a time to speak with you uninterrupted.

 

321-255-9086

brevardminister@cfl.rr.com

 

"What are your office hours?"

 

Monday through Friday 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.

 

Although ministers have "office hours" that does not necessarily mean they will always be immediately available. Office hours indicate the times they try to be available to take calls and exchange email, but of course pastoral visitation, ceremonies and other appointments also occur at these times. If you are unable to reach me, please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as possible.

 

 

"How involved will you be in my ceremony?"

 

That depends completely on your needs. Some couples want to have complete control over the content and simply desire their officiant show up and lead the service. Others would prefer the celebrant be integrally involved in designing the flow of the service and delivering a short marriage sermon. My rates are reflective of a wide range of needs and budgets.

 

 

"How will you be dressed?"

 

The attire of the celebrant is dependent upon the tone and content of the ceremony. I have a variety of clerical robes, formal suits and casual professional attire. I work with the couple to blend with the feel of their unique service. I can assure you however, that I will be dressed. Feel free to browse the photo gallery section of my website to see how other couples have had me dress for their ceremony.

 

 

"Are we obligated to invite our officiant to the rehearsal dinner and/or reception?"

 

In the past, the officiant was routinely invited to the rehearsal dinner and the reception. But unless the couple is a member of the officiant's congregation or has developed a special bond with their officiant, such invitations are no longer expected although certainly appreciated. Please do not expect your officiant to stay unless a specific invitation has been tendered. Invitations indicate courtesy and eliminate awkward situations and schedule conflicts. 

 

I have celiac disease and therefore have a special dietary need, so I tend to decline invitations because I do not want anyone having to make accommodations for me.  I'm more than happy to participate at the reception as a member of the clergy and be available for blessings and invocations, but would probably not stay for very long. Let's face it. I've got three children at home and an increasingly anxious husband awaiting my return.

 

 

"Are we supposed to tip our officiant?"

 

Gratuities are a delicate subject. Your minister, officiant or justice of the peace will not be insulted if you do not tip. It is not expected. However, if you feel your officiant has done an exceptional job, by all means express yourself with a gratuity. Officiants probably charge the least of all the wedding vendors and most pour their hearts and souls into the ceremony. We do not just do it as a job; it is a calling. If the ceremony is particularly pleasing, gratuities are a concrete way to let officiants know you appreciate what they did and honor their contribution to making the day especially meaningful. 

 

Gratuities needn't be in the form of monetary compensation however. My favorite gratuities have been gift certificates to local restaurants, a bottle of champagne from the reception to share with my husband when I returned home, and local specialties from couples who came from out-of-state. I will always think of one particular couple from New Hampshire when I pour syrup on my pancakes!  The restaurant gift certificates encouraged me to do something special rather than simply money absorbed into the family budget. This leads to occasions that will forever be linked in memory to the couples' weddings. And special thanks to the couple who ordered Aston Villa FC merchandise from England!

 

Do we have to use one of the weddings on your site?

 

Absolutely not! The weddings I have on my website are a small sample of what I have officiated in the past. Each couple and their relationship are unique and their wedding should reflect that. If you feel one of these services is perfect for you, by all means use it. But certainly do not feel limited. I chose these services because they include a variety of optional elements and hopefully provide a glimpse of how diverse the order of service can be within a "typical" wedding.

 

 

We checked your calendar and see you might already be booked. Should we still contact you?

 

It's always worth an email or a phone call.

 

If you see a graphic of wedding rings along with surnames on my Calendar, it means I have received a contract with a non-refundable deposit guaranteeing that date and time. If you see a graphic of a red Thumbtack with "Wed Contract Pending," it means I have presented the couple with a contract but have not received a signed copy with corresponding deposit.

 

If your wedding conflicts with a "Red Thumbtack" entry, I am more than happy to contact the other couple to find out if they will be retaining my services or have found someone else.

 

 

"Is there anything you refuse to do?"

 

That is a fair question and one with answers that deserve explanation. I have a page on this site that outlines what I will not do. 

 

Email: brevardminister@cfl.rr.com                  Phone: 321-255-9086

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