Common Questions
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Check Calendar for Possible Availability When you see a Red X with the words "Contract Pending" on the calendar, the date and time may still be available. If you see such a conflict, I will be happy to contact the couple to see if they intend to confirm their booking.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Although
I am a member of the clergy and serve a church, many of my independent weddings are with couples
who seek my services because of being inter-faith or having no active
affiliation with a religious institution;
resulting in essentially secular or "spiritual but not religious" ceremonies.
The
following are the most common questions I encounter. Some are asked outright
and others are broached tentatively. Please let me know if you think
any other subjects should be added to this page.
"What kinds of services do you
perform?"
I perform a full range of ministerial
services and rites of passages, but primarily officiate:
All over Central Florida! I can assist with renting the Unitarian Universalist Church of Brevard but I'm delighted to perform services wherever you would like to celebrate your union. I include travel expenses within my fees so you can budget easily.
"We are...
...is that a problem?" Absolutely not. Unitarian Universalism is a non-creedal denomination with a living tradition that includes:
My training and education enables me to craft a wide variety of services that address the needs of most religious traditions and the non-religious alike.
"We are expecting a baby. Is that a problem?" Only if you expect me to help with the 2:00 a.m. feedings. I see no reason why your union should not be blessed and solemnized because you will be parents soon. I do highly recommend a premarital guidance course. I think all couples can find value in such programs, but they are particularly important for parents-to-be. Marriage will change your relationship and parenthood combined with being newlyweds is an adjustment that should be anticipated realistically. If you are marrying because you are expecting a baby and not because you have already made the decision you cannot live without one another, I would recommend you wait or go through a premarital guidance course to help you decide if marriage is the right decision.
"How much do you charge?" My fees for weddings, commitment ceremonies and vow renewals are entirely dependent upon the needs of your ceremony. A full explanation of the free consultation process, my price range and payment options are found on the Fees page of this site. My fees for funerals, memorial services, baby and child dedications, adoption ceremonies, and other rites of passage are generally voluntary honorariums.
"We are on an extremely tight budget, but don't want to just show up at the court house. What can you do for us?" There are only three things required in order to be legally married in the state of Florida: a valid marriage license, an exchange of vows, and an authorized party to declare you married. Not very romantic, is it? The ritual of a wedding ceremony truly does have an impact on the psychological and emotional state of the couple. As silly as it sounds, you really do "feel more married" when you engage in a ritual rather than simply appear before the clerk of courts. I am happy to provide the essentials in my small wedding package providing a traditional wedding that is an intimate ceremony or private elopement.
"Why does it cost so much for 20 - 30 minutes of work?" It is completely understandable for couples and their guests to assume officiants earn an unusually high amount of money for simply prompting the couple through their vows and pronouncing them husband and wife, but that is only part of the story albeit the most visible part. Competent officiants spend time before the wedding pulling the pieces together and ensuring the desired flow of the ceremony. Time may be spent helping the couple customize vows, decide between a unity candle or a sand ceremony, and/or writing the opening words, a homily and a blessing. Ceremony composition is far more time-consuming than the joyful occasion itself. Officiants are often present well before the service to calm nerves or confer with a wedding consultant, the DJs, the photographer and other wedding vendors. We are usually asked to stay for a portrait photo....sometimes waiting for a long receiving line to conclude or family portraits to be taken first. In the case of weddings at my home church, I'm often the one putting the sanctuary back in order following the ceremony. Officiants in Florida are also responsible for ensuring accurate completion of the marriage license and submitting it to the appropriate county Clerk of Court. There are travel and/or postage expenses associated with this responsibility. I also like to provide a more attractive keepsake Marriage Certificate for every couple I marry regardless of size and scope of their wedding. We must also acknowledge that wedding officiating is a business with accompanying expenses. Officiants must advertise, maintain home offices, have internet access, make long-distance phone calls and travel to the ceremony among other costs. Your officiant is a professional every bit as much as your caterer and your photographer. This is why I highly encourage prospective couples to consult with several officiants before selecting the one who will preside at their ceremony. Consultations help determine personality fit and assess professionalism on the part of the officiant. Nothing can ruin a ceremony faster than having an officiant who cannot write or assemble an eloquent ceremony, mumbles, flubs names and is incapable of maintaining the flow of the service.
"Do you officiate ceremonies for same gender couples?" Yes I do. While weddings and commitment ceremonies performed in Florida are symbolic only and do not result in any legal protections for the couple, I am most happy to solemnize the public proclamation of a same gender couple's desire to live together as spouses. I do not charge my full fee because there is no paperwork to file with the county or state.
"What is the best way to reach you?" With a variety of intermittent appointments and three children, the most reliable means of communication is via email. This also allows for a written record of expectations. I am more than happy to speak with you over the telephone but may need to schedule a time to speak with you uninterrupted. 321-255-9086
"What are your office hours?" Monday through Friday 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Saturday 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Although ministers have "office hours" that does not necessarily mean they will always be immediately available. Office hours indicate the times they try to be available to take calls and exchange email, but of course pastoral visitation, ceremonies and other appointments also occur at these times. If you are unable to reach me, please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as possible.
"How involved will you be in my ceremony?" That depends completely on your needs. Some couples want to have complete control over the content and simply desire their officiant show up and lead the service. Others would prefer the celebrant be integrally involved in designing the flow of the service and delivering a short marriage sermon. My rates are reflective of a wide range of needs and budgets.
"How will you be dressed?" The attire of the celebrant is dependent upon the tone and content of the ceremony. I have a variety of clerical robes, formal suits and casual professional attire. I work with the couple to blend with the feel of their unique service. I can assure you however, that I will be attired.
"Are we obligated to invite our officiant to the rehearsal dinner and/or reception?" In the past, the officiant was routinely invited to the rehearsal dinner and the reception. But unless the couple is a member of the officiant's congregation or has developed a special bond with their officiant, such invitations are no longer expected although certainly appreciated. Please do not expect your officiant to stay unless a specific invitation has been tendered. Invitations indicate courtesy and eliminate awkward situations and schedule conflicts. Personally, I like attending rehearsal dinners because they provide me with an opportunity to get an even better feel for the family. I'm more than happy to participate at the reception as a member of the clergy and be available for blessings and invocations, but would probably not stay for very long. Let's face it. I've got three children at home and an increasingly anxious husband awaiting my return.
"Are we supposed to tip our officiant?" Gratuities are always a touchy subject. Your minister, officiant or justice of the peace will not be insulted if you do not tip. It is not expected. However, if you feel your officiant has done an exceptional job, by all means express yourself with a gratuity. Officiants probably charge the least of all the wedding vendors and most pour their hearts and souls into the ceremony. We do not just do it as a job; it is a calling and an experience. If the ceremony is particularly pleasing, gratuities are a concrete way to let officiants know you appreciate what they did and honor their contribution to making the day especially meaningful. Gratuities needn't be in the form of monetary compensation however. My two favorite gratuities were a gift certificate for a local restaurant and a bottle of champagne. The gift certificate encouraged me to do something special rather than simply money absorbed into the family budget. It led to an occasion that will forever be linked in memory to the couple's wedding. Another couple handed me a bottle of champagne from their reception and told me to share it with my husband when I got home. I thought that was a thoughtful and lovely touch.
Do we have to use one of the weddings on your site? Absolutely not! The weddings I have on my website are a small sample of what I have officiated in the past. Each couple and their relationship are unique and their wedding should reflect that. If you feel one of these services is perfect for you, by all means use it. But certainly do not feel limited. I chose these services because they include a variety of optional elements and hopefully provide a glimpse of how diverse the order of service can be within a "typical" wedding.
We checked your calendar and see you might already be booked. We like what we've seen, but we don't know if we should contact you. It's always worth an email or a phone call. If you see a graphic of wedding rings along with surnames on my Calendar, it means I have received a contract with a non-refundable deposit guaranteeing that date and time. If you see a graphic of a red X with "Wedding?," it means I have presented the couple with a contract but have not received a signed copy with corresponding deposit. If your wedding conflicts with a "red X/Wedding?" entry, I am more than happy to contact the other couple to find out if they will be retaining my services or have found someone else. Additionally, my twin sister is a notary republic. We work together to provide the same high level of service. If you are comfortable with a warm, funny and professional notary public officiating your ceremony, I would be more than happy to work with you to craft a beautiful and meaningful wedding ceremony at which she can preside.
"Is there anything you refuse to do?" That is a fair question and one with answers that deserve explanation. I have a page on this site that outlines what I will not do.
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Email: ann@brevardminister.com Phone: 321-255-9086
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