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Sample Weddings
Beach Weddings
Multiple Elements
Non-denominational Christian
Unitarian Universalist
Contemporary Jewish
Civil / Non-Religious
A Celtic Flavour
Buddhist
African American
Native American
New Year's Theme
Symbolic Ceremony
Commitment Service
Spanish
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Many Jews today who are not active in a synagogue or temple may still wish to
honor their cultural heritage. There are many excellent books to help Jewish and
inter-faith couples incorporate these traditions into their wedding ceremony. Here are some particularly helpful resources:
The four main elements of Jewish weddings from the Talmud are:
- Kiddushin: A ceremony during which the groom gives something of value to
the bride and recites the phrase, "You are hereby consecrated to me with
this ring according tot he rite of Moses and Israel." after which two
blessings are said, one over wine and one over the betrothal.
- Ketubbah: The marriage contract. The marriage contract must be presented
and delivered before the marriage blessings are recited.
- Nissuin: The consecration of the marriage under a chuppah (canopy),
during which a second cup of wine is filled and the Seven Blessings are
spoken, after which the groom steps on a glass.
- Seudat Mitvah: A feast and celebration.
Below is a sample contemporary Jewish wedding, but it is by no means THE
Jewish wedding. As you will notice, the Kiddushin is not even included and the
Seudat Mitvah is assumed to be the reception following the wedding ceremony.
There is no mention of a private moment for the bride and groom following the
ceremony. This particular order of service is not reflective of Reform, Conservative or Orthodox ritual.
Contemporary Jewish Wedding
Processional
The order of the processional in a Jewish wedding is
typically as follows:
-
Officiant
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Both sets of grandparents
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Best man and male attendants
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Groom flanked by parents (mother
on right, father on the left)
-
Maid of honor and bridesmaids
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Flower girls
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Bride flanked by parents (mother
on right, father on the left)
When the bride
approaches the chuppah, her parents step back towards their seats and she
circles it either three or seven times and then stands at the groom's right
side.
Presentation of the Couple
Officiant: Who brings this man to be married this day?
Grooms relatives: We do
Officiant: Who brings this woman to be married this day?
Bride's relatives: We do
Opening Words
Officiant: You may be seated.
We gather this hour to
witness the union of (bride) and (groom) as husband and wife. Today they
publicly pledge themselves to one another in the presence of those whom they
wish to have bless and support their marriage from this day forward. With your
presence at their marriage ceremony today, (bride) and (groom) ask you to share
in their future. Today they create a relationship founded on the circles of love
each bring to this union.
Presentation of the Ketubbah
The text of the Ketubbah is read by the officiant and
presented to the groom who signs it. The groom than presents it to the bride and
lowers her veil over her face. Rather than the traditional text, many
contemporary couples choose a ketubbah from an artist or Judaica store that is
more modern and based on gender equality. You may even write and decorate your
own. These websites and a Google search for "ketubbah" or "ketubah" will provide
you with lots of ideas from which to choose. Many couples subsequently frame and
display the Ketubbah in their home.
http://www.ketubbah.com/
http://www.ketubahstore.com/
http://www.modernketubah.com/
Affirmation of Marriage
(Bride) and (groom), it is
our wish for you today that you will always trust, respect and celebrate one
another. That you will grow and change together by unselfishly encouraging,
appreciating, nurturing and supporting one another.
You must always remember
that life guarantees change. When we love, we do not love all the time the same
way. When love wanes, act loving and it will return. When irritation creeps in,
act compassionate and it will recede. Life gives us the gifts of transition and
growth and you must embrace the changes and trust that these changes will
strengthen your marriage. How we act influences how we feel. Remain mindful of
how you treat one another, not just the words you speak.
(Bride) and (groom) the
covenant of marriage is formalized exclusively by the mutual exchange of pledges
between you. Only you can breathe life into these words and transform them into
a meaningful union of heart, body and soul.
Exchange of Vows
An exchange of
vows is not present in a traditional Jewish wedding, but contemporary couples
usually choose to include some sort of vow exchange. The words and the format of
the vows are entirely at the couple's discretion.
Officiant: (Bride), do you give
yourself freely in marriage? Do you promise to encourage and inspire (groom). Do
you intend to laugh with him in times of joy, to comfort him in times of sorrow
and struggle? do you promise to love him in good times and in bad, when life
seems easy and when it seems hard, when your love is simply and when it is an
effort? Do you promise to cherish him and always hold him in highest regard,
from this day and through all the days of your lives?
Bride: I do.
Officiant: (Groom), do you give
yourself freely in marriage? Do you promise to encourage and inspire (bride). Do
you intend to laugh with him in times of joy, to comfort him in times of sorrow
and struggle? do you promise to love him in good times and in bad, when life
seems easy and when it seems hard, when your love is simply and when it is an
effort? Do you promise to cherish him and always hold him in highest regard,
from this day and through all the days of your lives?
Groom: I do.
Blessing Over Wine
Officiant: "Blessed are you, Adonai,
our God, ruler of the universe who creates the fruit of the vine."
The couple sips the wine in the
cup after this blessing.
Exchange of Rings
A blessing of
the rings or explanation of the symbolism is entirely optional in a Jewish
wedding. Many contemporary couples choose to have something said by the
officiant because it tends to contribute to a smooth explanatory flow of the
ritual.
Officiant: Do we have the rings?
Best Man: We do.
Officiant: Adonai, our God, ruler of
the universe, we call for your blessing for these rings, both as symbols of love
and union between (bride) and (groom), and as tokens of their hopes and dreams
fulfilled in their commitment to each other this day and every day of the rest
of their lives together. We ask that these rings hold and carry these dreams,
remind them of the endless circle of their union to each other, and be a
beautiful reflection of their sacred vows to each other, now and always.
Officiant: Please repeat after me as
you place the ring on (bride's) finger.
Bride: "I am my beloved's and my
beloved is mine."
Officiant: Please repeat after me as
you place the ring on the (groom's) finger.
Bride: "I am my beloved's and my
beloved is mine."
The Nissuin Ceremony
A second glass
of wine is poured and the seven blessings are recited. They may be recited by
family members and guests selected by the bride and groom.
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Blessed are you, Adonai, our God,
ruler of the universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.
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Blessed are you, Adonai, our God,
ruler of the universe, who creates all things in your glory.
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Blessed are you, Adonai, our God,
ruler of the universe, who created mankind.
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Blessed are you, Adonai, our God,
ruler of the universe, who formed humanity in his image, in the image of his
likeness, and fashioned for him out of his very self a mate for all
eternity.
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May the barren land rejoice and
be glad when her children are gathered back to her in joy. Blessed are you,
Adonai, our God, who makes Zion rejoice in her children.
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Grant abundant joy to these
beloved companions, as you gladdened your creation long ago in the Garden of
Eden. Blessed are you, Adonai, our God, who gladdens groom and bride.
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Blessed are you, Adonai, our god,
ruler of the universe, who created joy and gladness, groom and bride, songs
of joy, delight and pleasure, love and harmony, peace and friendship. Soon,
Adonai, our God, may we hear in the cities of Judaea and in the streets of
Jerusalem the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the groom
and the voice of the bride, the jubilant voices of lovers from their chuppot,
and of youths from their feats of song. Blessed are you, Adonai, who
gladdens the groom and bride.
After the blessings, the bride and
groom drink from the second cup.
Declaration of Marriage
The declaration of marriage is not required in a
religious Jewish ceremony, but is generally expected in contemporary marriage
ritual.
(Bride) and (Groom), you have publicly declared your intent to join together
in matrimony. You have made promises to one another, symbolized by the
exchanging of vows and the giving and receiving of rings. As a member of the
clergy in the state of Florida, I am honored to pronounce you husband and wife.
You may seal your marriage with a kiss.
The groom lifts the veil and removes it from the
bride's face as he kisses her.
Breaking of the Glass
There are no required words that need be said when the
groom (or the bride and groom) break the glass. He/They may simply step on the
glass after they have kissed and leave it at that. Today many couples use a
light bulb secured in an attractive cloth bag. The following statement was used
in a Jewish wedding I officiated in November 2007.
Officiant: The breaking of this glass serves as a reminder of the sanctity of
marriage, and that the love of the bride and groom should last for as long as it
would take to make the glass perfectly whole again. In a moment (groom) will
break the glass signifying the end of the ceremony and the time for celebration.
It also signifies the last time (groom) gets to "put his foot down.
Explanation of Yichud
I would like to take this opportunity to mention to you, the guests, that
_____________ and _____________ will be spending a few moments alone together,
immediately following the ceremony. This is a custom called Yichud, which means
"union" in Hebrew. It gives the couple an opportunity to share, privately, the
power and importance of this moment in their lives. They will return shortly to
greet you.
Recessional
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Bride and Groom
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Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
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Grooms Family
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Brides Family
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Officiant
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Contemporary Jewish