Officiant Etiquette

In This Section

Officiating Fees
Officiant Etiquette
Your Officiant Matters
Frequently Asked Questions
Initial Consultation
What I Won't Do

 Check Calendar for Possible Availability

If you see a Red thumbtack with the words "Contract Pending" on the calendar, the date and time may still be available. If you see such a conflict, I will be happy to contact the couple to see if they intend to confirm their booking.

• What You Should Expect From Your Officiant

• What You Can Do To Help Your Officiant

The only thing I shall say about wedding etiquette in general is that the fastest way to ruin your wedding day is to fret about doing it the right way. While there are traditions and superstitions surrounding weddings, there is no such thing as making everything fall into place the correct way. Too many wedding etiquette books will leave your head spinning and you will end up making much ado about nothing. The only thing you need to know in terms of etiquette for your special day is to make a point of practicing common courtesy. Keep other's basic needs in mind. In other words, be gracious about being the center of attention.

In order for you and your officiant to work together to make sure your wedding is as close to perfect as possible, it is important to know what is reasonable to expect of one another.

What You Should Expect From Your Officiant 

• COMMUNICATION: Your officiant should return emails and phone calls within a reasonable time frame. Allow 24-48 hours unless the officiant is on vacation and understand that weekends are a particularly busy time for officiants, especially clergy.

• RECEIPTS: Your officiant should acknowledge receipt of all deposits and payments.

• ARRIVAL: Your officiant should arrive at least 30 minutes prior to the ceremony. This time frame may be reduced to 15 minutes for a small intimate or private ceremony requiring little to no coordination.

• ASSISTANCE: Your officiant should assist with any last minute preparations to facilitate a reasonable start time and make an effort to calm nerves.

• EMERGENCIES: Your officiant is responsible for finding a suitable replacement if unable to perform the ceremony due to unexpected events such as illness, death in the family, etc. This is not the responsibility of the bride and groom.

• PROFESSIONALISM: Your officiant should maintain a professional demeanor in terms of both dress and behavior. He or she should appropriately manage the emotional energy of all parties. Your officiant should know the correct spelling and pronunciation of persons who will be mentioned during the service.

·         MARRIAGE LICENSE (If applicable): Your officiant is legally required to review the license prior to the wedding ceremony and should request to do so if you have not presented it. If your officiant has accepted the responsibility of filing your marriage license after the ceremony, he or she is required to do so within ten days of the wedding, but should make an effort to return it to the Clerk of Courts within four or five.

• RESPECT: Your officiant should respect your beliefs and honor them at your wedding ceremony.

• MEAL BLESSINGS: If invited for a meal at a breakfast, lunch or dinner reception, your officiant should offer to say a blessing. Under no circumstances should the officiant charge extra for this honor.

• DEPOSITS: Your officiant is not obligated to return a non-refundable deposit, but should refund it if the date and time of a cancelled wedding is subsequently rebooked with another couple.

Photo by Keith & Aimee Nugent of Nuge Studios March 14, 2009

What You Can Do To Help Your Officiant

• DIRECTIONS: If your wedding is in a specific location to which GoogleMaps.com and a GPS cannot guide the officiant, provide your officiant with precise written directions to the exact location.

• CONTRACT CHANGES: Submit any changes to the contract in writing via email or regular post.

• TIME DELAYS: Be respectful of your officiant’s schedule.

  • Officiants expect most weddings to start 5 - 20 minutes late.

  • Contact your officiant immediately, whether he or she is on-site yet or not, as soon as you become aware of an unreasonable delay.

  • Expect your officiant to reserve the right to bill an additional fee if there is an unreasonable or excessive delay. Your officiant should provide you with information about such charges at the time you reserve his or her services.

• MARRIAGE LICENSE: Designate a responsible individual to greet the officiant upon arrival with an envelope containing the marriage license and the officiant’s payment.

• RECEPTION / REHEARSAL DINNER INVITATION: You are not obligated to invite your officiant to either your rehearsal dinner or the reception. If you wish to do so, please extend the invitation prior to the date of the rehearsal or wedding ceremony.

• FLOWERS: You are not obligated to include your officiant in the corsage and boutonniere count. It is appreciated if the officiant is wearing a suit, but not appropriate for ministerial robes.

• PHYSICAL COMFORT: You, your guests and your vendors will all be miserable if you do not take climate concerns into account. You really cannot underestimate how hot and humid summer is in Central Florida.

• DEPENDABILITY: If you make an appointment and decide later you do not wish to meet with the officiant, call and let the individual know. The officiant’s feelings will not be hurt and he or she will appreciate the respect you show his or her time and expense.

• DEPOSITS: In the event you must cancel, be aware that your officiant is not obligated to return a non-refundable deposit. The blocked date and time may have resulted in the officiant having to decline other business and the officiant may have already incurred expenses related to your wedding.

• COMPATIBILITY: You should only hire an officiant with whom you feel absolutely comfortable.