| Here is what
it looks like when a bride and groom select some pre-written
components as well as established elements, but personalize the
ceremony to celebrate what is important to them.
Personalized Ceremony One
The first couple met in junior high school and waited until their
late twenties to get married. Everyone in the room knew both sides quite
well so it was very easy to engage everyone. It was a formal secular
affair with a sweet and light-hearted tone. This wedding demonstrates
not only personalization, but how weddings can change "on the fly" with
grace and humor.
Personalized Ceremony Two
The second couple both have a
strong connection to the past and wanted to acknowledge the
importance of their parents and as well as where they both came from
geographically. Because they shared what they consider to be
important attributes to their marriage, I was able to customize an
affirmation of marriage focusing on their hopes for the
relationship. Additionally, the family planned a surprise butterfly
release in honor of those who could not make it to the ceremony but
were special to the bride and groom. I had a great deal of fun
crafting and officiating this ceremony as a result of their active
participation.
Processional and
Presentation of the Bride
Bride places a rose for
her father on an empty chair and Groom steps forward to take his
bride….and then begins to cry.
Opening Words
We are gathered here this
day, not to witness a beginning of what shall be, but to celebrate and
affirm what already is. Bride and Groom have invited you to share the
public declaration of what has already been united in their hearts. This
is, of course, apparent to all of you who have waited such a long time
for this day to finally arrive. Their wedding today celebrates the joy
and beauty of life. Our setting by the beach today clearly serves as a
beautiful metaphor for marriage. (We had to move the wedding inside
just as it was about to begin because of high winds and a threatening
wall of rain on the horizon.) Just as the conditions on the sea
range from a blissful calm to a raging storm, so our relationships
change through time. The shore absorbs the pounding of the surf as our
love endures the pressures of change and growth. It is a strength that
binds yet ennobles our human experience.
Bride and Groom, the joy you
feel now is a solemn joy as marriage is an estate weighty with
consequences both social and personal. Your marriage requires love, a
word often used too freely and with weak sentimentality. For your
marriage, love must be something very real, but not binding. Love
between a husband and wife results in surprising freedom and enriching
fulfillment. Your love allows you to see things we cannot see. You see
beneath the surface and observe qualities in one another that make you
different and dearer than all others. Bride, you have shared how much
you admire Groom’s passion about his beliefs, values and convictions.
Groom, you have shared how you are moved by Bride’s compassion and
caring of others. Besides these gifts you give to all of the people in
your lives, your loving eyes view the inner beauty in one another and
see and know what is seen and known by no other.
Honoring the Parents
When two people come
together, it is right and good that they give thanks to those who
nurtured them. Today, Bride and Groom would like to give honor to their
parents and all those whose love and support have made this day
possible. We keep (Bride’s father) in our hearts. Although he is no
longer among us, his blessings and support are present in spirit and
loving memory.
Reading
I invite (close friend) to
come forward at this time with some words he has prepared for our
celebration today.
He emailed the two of them to
ask about the other and reported some rather funny interests and
hobbies. There was a lot of laughter and not a few blushes. He also
informed them their alma mater was losing a big football game at the
half.
Minister hands Groom a
linen handkerchief. Bride and bridesmaids are left to fend for
themselves.
Affirmation of Marriage
Bride and Groom, your love is
dynamic. You must not fear, but rather embrace the changes that come
with the growth of your love. The love of husband and wife generates the
courage and confidence needed to live together within the embracing bond
of marriage. Cultivate your affection and consideration for one another
to give you strength when drawing upon your capacity for self-sacrifice,
patience and forbearance,
Marriage is a dedication. You
give yourself, your life and your love into the trusting hands of the
one you love. You bestow this gift generously. Likewise, each of you
receives this boundless gift, the life and love of the other. A gift you
received from your families who nurtured you and your friends who are
joined in loving friendship and support for your marriage.
Something you shared with me
bodes well for your future. When they first met in junior high school,
Groom thought Bride very pretty but probably a bit stuck up. Bride
thought Groom was the biggest dork. These humble beginnings may not have
indicated an enduring and beautiful relationship, but I must tell you
this is exactly what my parents thought when they were first introduced
on a blind date. I am very pleased to tell you they are celebrating
their forty-fifth wedding anniversary next month so obviously something
works well with this formula.
On a more serious note, when
you told me that accepting imperfections, anticipating there will be
challenges in your marriage and maintaining open communication were what
you considered important to the success of a healthy marriage I felt the
maturity and dedication you both bring to your partnership. Bride and
Groom, the promises you declare now will cross the years and touch the
lives of many people and help them to develop a true sense of love,
honor and commitment. Do you intend to pledge yourselves to one another
in the exalted estate of marriage?
We do.
Exchange of Vows
Bride and Groom, it is a
great joy for me to be standing here with you on this day, sharing in
you marriage ceremony and witnessing to the commitment you make to one
another.
I remind you that the vows
you are about to exchange belong entirely to you. Only you, by the
integrity and diligence of your life, can make these vows last. So it is
not to lofty words or institutions that we appeal at this hour of
commitment, but to the resources which you draw from deep within
yourselves…the deep well of human need, the need to live united and
loving and complete in an imperfect world.
So will you now please join
hands and in so doing join your hearts.
Groom, please look into
Bride’s eyes as you repeat after me.
Before these witnesses
I, Groom,
vow to love you, Bride,
and care for you
as long as we both shall
live.
I take you, with all your
faults and your strengths,
as I offer myself to you
with my faults and my
strengths. (whines, but I don't have any faults)
I will help you when you
need help,
and will turn to you when
I need help.
I choose you as the person
with whom I will spend my
life.
Bride, please look into
Groom’s eyes as you repeat after me.
Before these witnesses
I, Bride,
vow to love you, Groom,
and care for you
as long as we both shall
live.
I take you, with all your
faults and your strengths, (emphasizes "your faults")
as I offer myself to you
with my faults and my
strengths.
I will help you when you
need help,
and will turn to you when
I need help.
I choose you as the person
with whom I will spend my
life.
Blessing of the Rings
Do we have the rings?
Marriage is a state in which
two people come together and create a union greater than the sum of its
parts. It is difficult to express in words the profound relationship
that is love. The ring has long been a symbol of the sincerity and
permanence of a couple's love for one another and regard for their
marriage. As the circle can begin anew at any point, so a good marriage
can pick any point to renew itself. These rings are symbols of your
eternal love.
Exchange of Rings
Groom, please look into
Bride’s eyes as you place the ring on your beloved’s left hand repeating
after me.
I give you this ring
as a symbol of my love and
faithfulness.
As I place it on your
finger,
I commit my heart and soul
to you.
I ask you to wear this
ring
as a reminder of the vows
we have spoken today, our
wedding day.
Bride, please look into
Groom’s eyes as you place the ring on your beloved’s left hand repeating
after me.
I give you this ring
as a symbol of my love and
faithfulness.
As I place it on your
finger,
I commit my heart and soul
to you.
I ask you to wear this
ring
as a reminder of the vows
we have spoken today, our
wedding day.
Reading
I invite the Groom’s sister
to come forward at this time and read from Corelli’s Mandolin by
Louise De Bernieres.
Instead she reads
Foundations of Marriage by Regina Hill.
Love, trust, and forgiveness are the
foundations of marriage. In marriage, many days will bring happiness,
while other days may be sad. But together, two hearts can overcome
everything...In marriage, all of the moments won't be exciting or
romantic, and sometimes worries and anxiety will be overwhelming. But
together, two hearts that accept will find comfort together.
Recollections of past joys, pains, and shared feelings will be the glue
that holds everything together during even the worst and most insecure
moments. Reaching out to each other as a friend, and becoming the
confidant and companion that the other one needs, is the true magic and
beauty of any two people together. It's inspiring in each other a dream
or a feeling, and having faith in each other and not giving up... even
when all the odds say to quit. It's allowing each other to be
vulnerable, to be himself or herself, even when the opinions or thoughts
aren't in total agreement or exactly what you'd like them to be. It's
getting involved and showing interest in each other, really listening
and being available, the way any best friend should be. Exactly three
things need to be remembered in a marriage if it is to be a mutual bond
of sharing, caring, and loving throughout life: love, trust, and
forgiveness.
Sand Ceremony
Bride and Groom, will you now
step up to the table and hold close to your heart the container of sand
representing the essence of all that you are and all that you bring to
this union. As you do so, remember that like these grains of sand your
differences and uniqueness are a wonderful gift that you give to one
another, as important to your relationship as your commonality and the
strength of your togetherness. Once this sand is poured it can never be
separated, for it has moved on to create something new and beautiful,
that shall be forever shared, much in that same way that your marriage
will forever join your lives. Will you now pour the sand that is to
represent both your individuality and your togetherness within your
union?
Bride and Groom intermingle their sand.
As you pour remember marriage is a promise to be together in harmony
and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. To empower each
other and allow your relationship to evolve to it's highest purpose. To
sing and dance together and be joyful. To care for one another, share
your lives with one another and to unite in spirits with every fiber of
your being. Bring your union to the foreground of your thoughts always
and through all of your moments together, so that in the triumphs and
trials that lie ahead, you will you will feel just as you do now - happy
to be in love and married to one another. Be at peace and live more and
more in the present, which is beautiful and stretches away beyond the
limits of the past and towards the horizons of the future.
Reading
I invite the Bride’s
step-father to come forward at this time and read from Corelli’s
Mandolin by Louise De Bernieres.
Instead he reads The Art
of Marriage by Wilferd Peterson.
A good
marriage must be created.
In the
marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never
being too old to hold hands.
It is
remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day.
It is never
going to sleep angry.
It is having
a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is
standing together and facing the world.
It is
forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is
speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful
ways.
It is having
the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving
each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is a
common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is not
only marrying the right person.
It is being
the right partner.
Closing Words (no
closing words were written into the original ceremony)
For Bride and Groom, I am not
about to let this ceremony conclude without reading from Corelli’s
Mandolin by Louise De Bernieres.
"Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you
have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so
entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not
excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion...
That is just being "in love," which any fool can do. Love itself is what
is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art
and a fortunate accident."
Declaration of Marriage
Bride and Groom, you have
pledged yourselves to one another in love, compassion, righteousness and
truth and symbolized your vows with the giving and receiving of rings.
In the presence of these witnesses it is my honor and joy as a member of
the clergy in the state of Florida to pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss your bride.
Introduction of the Couple
It is my joy and honor to
introduce for the first time, Bride and Groom Surname!
Presentation of the Bride without a Question to the Escort
(Groom), you may take your bride.
Opening Words
It is with great joy we gather today to witness the joining of
two hands, and two hearts in holy matrimony. These two people,
(Groom) and (Bride), have fallen in love so deeply, so completely,
that today, they make a bond, a sacred covenant before God, whereby
their hearts, their bodies, and their souls shall be united as one
in marriage for the rest of their days.
(Groom) and (Bride)’s respective families, together with their
friends, each represent a circle of love where members care for, and
nurture each other, in times of joy and in times of sorrow. Today,
they join their lives together to make a new circle of love, one
that overlaps with, and is made stronger by those from which it has
emerged. You have been invited here because of their special
relationship with you, to witness the solemnization of this sacred
bond.
Affirmation of Marriage
(Groom) and (Bride) when I asked your vision of being married to
the other you both mentioned love, of course, but then one of you
said commitment and the other dedication. I could not be more
thrilled. This speaks of a maturity that bodes well for your future.
Love alone does not inspire us to live
lives full of compassion and service to one another. It requires
dedication, commitment, trust and faith. We derive the strength to
nurture this love in the context of the marriage bond and our
community. Therefore, I remind your friends and family here today
that they too play an important role in supporting you as you face
the challenges every marriage encounters over time.
(Groom) and (Bride), marriage is a
voluntary partnership that will indeed constantly challenge and test
the depth of your commitment. Love brought you together and will
make your marriage richer and sweeter. It is a mutual dedication and
a willingness to trust that each of you is committed to the health
and success of your relationship that will make your marriage
endure.
Exchange of Vows
I ask you to turn to one another, join hands and in so doing,
join your hearts.
(Bride), please look into
(Groom)’s eyes repeating after me:
I, (Bride’s Full Name)
take you (Groom’s Full
Name),
to be my beloved
husband,
to have and to hold,
to honor and to
treasure,
to be at your side
in sorrow and in joy,
in the good times and
in the bad,
and to love and
cherish always.
I make these promises
from my heart
from this day forward.
(Groom), please look into
(Bride)’s eyes repeating after me:
I, (Groom’s Full
Name),
take you (Bride’s Full
Name),
to be my beloved wife,
to have and to hold,
to honor and to
treasure,
to be at your side
in sorrow and in joy,
in the good times and
in the bad,
and to love and
cherish always.
I make these promises
from my heart
from this day forward.
Blessing of the Rings
Do we have the rings?
Lord, we ask you to bless
these rings that (Bride) and (Groom) are about to exchange and the
rings of (Groom’s ancestor) and (Bride’s ancestor). They represent
the continuation of love down through the generations as well as the
uniting of these two families with their hopes for a new generation
nurtured by this love.
May these rings forever
remind (Groom) and (Bride) of their covenant with one another, as
well as the circle of love they have publicly created here today.
May their regard for one another be like these rings, with no
beginning and no end. May the precious metal remind them of their
precious commitment, and if either begins to tarnish, may they
joyfully undertake the sacred duty to make it shine brightly
again. May these rings always belong to their hands, and their love
always belong in each other’s hearts. In the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen .
Exchange of Rings
(Groom), please look into
(Bride)’s eyes as you place the ring on her finger repeating after
me.
With this ring, I
marry you.
Wear it as a symbol
of our love and
commitment.
(Bride), please look into
(Groom)’s eyes as you place the ring on his finger repeating after
me.
With this ring, I
marry you.
Wear it as a symbol
of our love and
commitment.
Sand Ceremony
At this time I invite
(Groom) and (Bride)’s mothers to come forward with their containers
of sand and stand beside their children. They bring forth sand from
(where groom was raised) and (where bride was raised) representing
the families who raised and nurtured this man and this woman. I
therefore ask the families, do you give your blessings to (Groom)
and (Bride) as they enter into this new relationship, and do you
aspire in the days and years ahead to give them your deepest love,
understanding, and support during both good times and bad?
We do.
Please hand your child
the container of sand.
(Groom) and (Bride), will you now hold close to
your heart the container of sand representing the essence of all
that you are and all that you bring to this union. As you do so,
remember that like these grains of sand your differences and
uniqueness are a wonderful gift that you give to one another, as
important to your relationship as your commonality and the strength
of your togetherness. Once this sand is poured it can never be
separated, for it has moved on to create something new and
beautiful, that shall be forever shared, much in that same way that
your marriage will forever join your lives.
Will you now pour the sand that represents both
your individuality and your togetherness within your union?
As you
pour remember marriage is a sacred commitment that empowers each of
you and allows your relationship to evolve to it's highest purpose.
Bring your union to the foreground of your thoughts always and
through all of your moments together, so that in the triumphs and
trials that lie ahead, you will feel as you do now - happy to be in
love and married to one another. Be at peace and live more and more
in the present, which is beautiful and stretches away beyond the
limits of the past and towards the horizons of the future.
Blessing of the
Marriage
Dear heavenly Father, our
hearts are filled with great happiness on (Bride) and (Groom)’s
wedding day, as they come before You pledging their hearts and lives
to one another. Grant that they may be ever true and loving, living
together in such a way as to never bring shame or heartbreak into
their marriage. Temper their hearts with kindness and understanding,
rid them of all pretense of jealousy. Help them to remember to be
each other's sweetheart, helpmate, friend and guide, so that
together they may meet the cares and problems of life more bravely.
And with the passage of time, may the home they are creating today,
truly be a place of love and harmony, where your spirit is ever
present. Bless this union we pray, and walk beside (Groom) and
(Bride) throughout their lives together. In the name of the father,
the son and the holy spirit; Amen.
Declaration of
Marriage
What love has brought
together, let no one break asunder. For as much as you, (Groom) and
(Bride), have pledged to live together in the holy state of
matrimony, symbolized your intent with the giving and receiving of
rings, it is my privilege as a minister in the state of Florida to
hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.
Surprise Butterfly
Release
At this time I invite
(family member) to come forward. She said a few words about
remembering the family and read the Native American reading
traditionally associated with butterfly releases.
Introduction of the
Couple
It is my joy and honor to
introduce for the first time, (Groom) and (Bride) Surname! |
Personalized Ceremonies
