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Despite being widely available and some used more
than others, readings can add a surprisingly personal touch to any wedding. Your
officiant needn't be the one doing the reading either. This particular element
is a great way to honor someone who was not able to be a member of your wedding
party (great-aunt Edna doesn't look so great in strapless tangelo taffeta) or
simply capture a facet of marriage you wish to highlight in your wedding
ceremony. Readings work really well immediately after the opening words or right
after the exchange of rings or a unity ceremony (or both!). The following
suggestions range from the ridiculous to the sublime.
FALLING
~ Robert Hardy ~
You already know about
love. You fall in love. Falling is easy.
Maybe you don’t see it
coming. Maybe you brace yourself against the wind in the door,
see the earth circling
below and jump. Falling is easy. It feels like flight.
You feel your kinship
with clouds, with light, stuff of stars, atoms that float and fall,
meteors, stars that
still glow with the start of everything.
You raise your arms
like wings. Butterfly or belly-flop.
You feel the earth
expanding--don’t look down. Reach for the cord.
Falling is easy. But
is this love or gravity? Pull the cord.
Yes--love blossoms
from the weight you carry, the question, the tug at your heart.
The parachute pops
like a cork. Now you float in the arms of the atmosphere,
milkweed floss,
dandelion seed, no longer afraid to take root in the earth--
but still floating
awhile, ecstasy and trust,
your high-altitude
heart settling back into a steadier beat,
the tilt of the earth,
seasons and days.
But here you are
floating--buoyed by invitations and arrangements.
Now you look down. The
ground looms like a date, circled for landing.
The fields look like
RSVPs. Your feet touch.
The parachute falls
around you like a wedding dress.
You’ve landed
together. Dance while the earth steadies beneath your feet.
Hold each other up.
Now you will walk together in ordinary days.
Your parachute may
become a maternity dress,
a mortgage, a tissue
for your tears.
It may be divided into
diapers, water-proof sheets,
a layette, stories to
tell your grandchildren.
Days may come when you
forget how it felt to float.
But still this moment
of landing lives inside you,
when the touch of the
ground felt like a vow--
I will always be
there. I will catch you if you fall.
SONNET 116
~ By William Shakespeare ~
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! It is an ever-fix'd mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me prov'd,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.
ART
OF MARRIAGE
~ By Wilferd A. Peterson. ~
A
good marriage must be created.
In
the marriage the little things are the big things.
It
is never being too old to hold hands.
It
is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day.
It
is never going to sleep angry.
It
is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It
is standing together and facing the world.....
It
is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It
is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful
ways.
It
is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It
is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It
is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It
is not only marrying the right person.
It
is being the right partner.
FROM
A GIFT FROM THE SEA
~by
Anne Morrow Lindbergh~
One recognizes the truth of Saint Exupery's line:
Love does not consist in gazing at each other. But in looking outward together
in the same direction. For in fact, man and woman are not only looking outward
in the same direction, they are working outward. Here one forms ties, roots, a
firm base....Here one makes oneself part of the community of men, of human
society. Here the bonds of marriage are formed. For marriage, which is always
spoken of as a bond, becomes actually, in this stage, many bonds, many strands,
of different texture and strength, making up a web that is taut and firm. The
web is fashioned of love. Yes, but many kinds of love: romantic love first, then
a slow-growing devotion and, playing through these, a constantly rippling
companionship. It is made of loyalties, and interdependencies, and shared
experiences. It is woven of memories of meetings and conflicts; of triumphs and
disappointments. It is a web of communication, a common language, and the
acceptance of lack of language too, a knowledge of likes and dislikes, of habits
and reactions, both physical and mental. It is a web of instincts and
intuitions, and known and unknown exchanges. The web of marriage is made by
propinquity, in the day to day living side by side, looking outward and working
outward in the same direction. It is woven in space and in time of the substance
of life itself.
THE PASSIONATE SHEPHERD TO HIS LOVE
~ By Christopher Marlowe ~
Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.
And we will sit upon rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.
And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant poises,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;
A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of the purest gold;
A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs;
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me, and be my love.
The shepherds's swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.
WHY
MARRIAGE?
~by
Mari Nichols~
Because to the depths of me, I long to love one
person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...
Because I need a forever friend to trust with
the intimacies of me,
Who won't hold them against me,
Who loves me when I'm unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me, and
Who looks for the divine potential of me...
Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the
night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold...
Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship...
Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements...
Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole...
Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness
I create me,
I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage...
Because with this understanding
The possibilities are limitless.
HINDU MARRIAGE POEM
You have become mine forever.
Yes, we have become partners.
I have become yours.
Hereafter, I cannot live without you.
Do not live without me.
Let us share the joys.
We are word and meaning, unite.
You are thought and I am sound.
May the nights be honey-sweet for us.
May the mornings be honey-sweet for us.
May the plants be honey-sweet for us.
May the earth be honey-sweet for us.
Lyrics to Adam Sandler's "I Wanna Grow Old With You" from The Wedding
Singer.
I wanna make you
smile,
Whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do,
Is grow old with you.
I'll get you medicine,
When your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh it could be so nice,
Growin' old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you.
Even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man,
Who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.
I WANNA BE YOURS
~John Cooper Clark~
I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours
I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away
Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don’t care
I wanna be yours
I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you’ll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion
Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
that’s how deep is my devotion
NO MISTAKE
~Martha Sims~
I know that you were made for me
And I was made for you
A wise old owl up in a tree
Told me this was true
I asked him only yesterday
If I should marry you
He answered – ‘I can safely say
You’re not a twit to woo.’
(The pun in the last line tends to sail over American heads. Works better with
the British crowd.) FIDELITY
~ DH Lawrence ~
Man and woman are like the earth, that brings forth flowers
in summer, and love, but underneath is rock.
Older than flowers, older than ferns, ...,
older than plasm altogether is the soul underneath.
And when, throughout all the wild chaos of love
slowly a gem forms, in the ancient, once-more-molten rocks
of two human hearts, two ancient rocks,
a man's heart and a woman's,
that is the crystal of peace, the slow hard jewel of trust,
the sapphire of fidelity.
The gem of mutual peace emerging from the wild chaos of love.
IRISH MARRIAGE BLESSING
May God be with you and bless you;
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings,
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.
THE PRAYER
~ By St. Francis of Assisi ~
Lord, make
us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, union;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, Grant that we may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
PSALM 128:1-4
Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways. For thou
shalt eat the labor of thine hands; happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well
with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house, thy
children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the
man be blessed that feareth the Lord.
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their
toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow; but
woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him
up. Again, if two lie together, they are warm; but how can one be warm
alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two
will withstand him. CORINTHIANS
13: 4-8
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous
or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it
is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the
right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all
things. Love never ends.
LOVE
~
Chief Dan George ~
Love
is something that you and I must have. We must have it because our spirit
feeds upon it. We must have it because without it we become faint and
weak.
Without love our self- esteem weakens. Without it our courage
fails. Without love we can no longer look confidently at the world.
We turn inward and begin to feed on our own personalities and little by little
we destroy ourselves.
With love we are creative. With love we march tirelessly. With love
and with love alone, we are able to sacrifice for others.
THE APACHE WEDDING PRAYER
Now
you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be
shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be
warmth to the other.
Now there is no more lonliness,
for each of you will be
companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
but there is only one
life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
to enter into the days
of your togetherness.
And may your days
be good and long
upon the earth.
A WEDDING WISH
All earthly goods I wish thee.
All that's good for thee and thine
And still, not only earthly
But all we know to be divine.
May earth and heaven mingle
May earth and heaven be one
All through your earthly journey
Till sets your earthly sun.
In Sunshine and in shadow
Through dancing and in song
May heaven bless your union
Throughout your whole life long.
THE
PROPHET
~
by Kahil Gibran ~
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of
praise on your lips.
LOVE IS ENOUGH
~by William Morris~ Love is enough: though the World be
a-waning, And the woods have no voice but the voice of complaining,
Though the sky be too dark for dim eyes to discover
The gold-cups and daisies fair blooming thereunder,
Though the hills be held shadows, and the sea a dark wonder
And this day draw a veil over all deeds pass'd over,
Yet their hands shall not tremble, their feet shall not falter;
The void shall not weary, the fear shall not alter
These lips and these eyes of the loved and the lover.
I CHING
When two people are at one
in their inmost hearts,
they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze.
And when two people understand each other
in their inmost hearts,
their words are sweet and strong,
like the fragrance of orchids.
From "A NATURAL HISTORY OF LOVE"
~Diane Ackerman~
"Love. What a small word we use for an idea so immense and powerful. It has
altered the flow of history, calmed monsters, kindled works of art, cheered the
forlorn, turned tough guys to mush, consoled the enslaved, driven strong women
mad, glorified the humble, fueled national scandals, bankrupted robber barons,
and made mincemeat of kings. How can love's spaciousness be conveyed in the
narrow confines of one syllable? Love is an ancient delirium, a desire older
than civilization, with taproots spreading into deep and mysterious days. The
heart is a living museum. In each of its galleries, no matter how narrow or
dimly lit, preserved forever like wondrous diatoms, are our moments of loving,
and being loved."
From "KNOW THYSELF, KNOW THYSELF
MORE DEEPLY"
~D.H. Lawrence~
"Go deeper than love, for the soul has greater depths,
love is like the grass, but the heart is deep wild rock
molten, yet dense and permanent.
Go down to your deep old heart, and lose sight of yourself.
And lose sight of me, the me whom you turbulently loved.
Let us lose sight of ourselves, and break the mirrors.
For the fierce curve of our lives is moving again to the depths
out of sight, in the deep living heart." Do you have a favorite song? Often song
lyrics make lovely readings during a wedding ceremony. You needn't be limited to
scripture and poetry. Passages from both fiction and non-fiction prose can be
used. Here are a few more sites you can browse for ideas.
From "UNION"
~Robert Fulghum~
"You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point
of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to
this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an
informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a
meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with “When we’re
married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will”- those late night
talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe”- and all those promises
that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are
the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are
a way of saying to one another, “ You know all those things we’ve promised and
hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and
remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to
one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even
teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now
you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things
will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to
the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife "
From "CORELLI'S MANDOLIN"
~Louise De Bernieres!
"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And
when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your
roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever
part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not
excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion... That is
just being "in love," which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over
when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate
accident."
From "THE
STRENGTH TO LOVE"
~Dr.Martin Luther King, Jr.~
"The meaning of love is not to be confused with some sentimental outpouring.
Love is something much more than emotional bosh…An overflowing love which seeks
nothing in return,[agape] is the love of God operating in the human heart…Love
is the most durable power in the world. This creative force, so beautifully
exemplified in the life of our Christ, is the most potent instrument available
in mankind's quest for peace and security…The great military leaders of the past
have gone, and their empires have crumbled and burned to ashes. But the empire
of Jesus, built solidly and majestically on the foundation of love, is still
growing."
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