 Getting
married in a private home is a popular option for couples on a
budget and couples with unlimited resources. You may want to be
married in the home in which one of you grew up, the first house you
bought together, the cousin's house where you met on a blind date,
or the friend's house with the gorgeous backyard on the river. Some
people opt for home weddings because they want to minimize the
stress of wedding planning only to find they have taken on more work
than they anticipated. While it can be a cost effective way to have
a gorgeous wedding, you are pretty much on your own unless you hire
a professional to handle all of the details for
you. Consider the following:Home Weddings Start
Late
If you want your wedding ceremony to begin at 2:00 p.m. tell your
guests "the festivities" begin at 1:30, or better 1:00. Even if you
send out formal invitations, guests are much more casual about
arriving on time for a home wedding. I can guarantee the one guest
you absolutely want to attend who is habitually late to everything
will not make an exception for your wedding. He or she will still be
late.
Consider the Children
If children will be present, take their needs into account. Their
nap and feeding schedules may suit some ceremony times better than
others. Cakes are children magnets. If you have your wedding cake
where small hands can reach it, small hands will reach it. Make sure
someone is designated to supervise the children. They are often overlooked in
the hustle and bustle of a home wedding unless someone is
specifically charged with the task of their supervision.
Music
If you are using recorded music through a sound system, whether
it is an iPod or a DJ's sound board, make sure
the speakers are put into place and the music queued up and tested
prior to guests arriving. Designate someone as your "DJ" and
make sure they know which tracks are played at what point in the
ceremony. Pick someone who is familiar with the audio technology you
will be using and have him or her practice pushing the right buttons
well in advance of the ceremony. This is a common source of last
minute scrambling that delays home wedding ceremonies. I highly
recommend live music for home weddings if you can afford it or have
a talented friend or family member.
Beg, Borrow, ..... but Don't Steal
If you are trying to keep your wedding expenses down, don't be
afraid to ask friends and relatives for assistance. They will likely
feel honored to be needed and delighted to help. You can rent
arches, tables, chairs, etc. from party supply rental companies, but
you can probably also collect everything you need from the people
nearest and dearest to you if necessary. If you have a handyman in
the family, he or she can build a beautiful arch at a lower cost
than purchasing or renting one. The green thumb in the family may be
able to provide flower arrangements. The shutterbug can take
pictures. The budding chef can help with the food. Make a list of
everyone you know and what skills, talents and resources they have that
you might need. Also think in terms of multiple use. If you plan to
seat people for the ceremony, reuse the chairs for seating at the
reception. If you have flower arrangements as a focal point in the
wedding ceremony, reuse them on a buffet or gift table as
centerpieces. Now is the time to be creative!
 The
Isolated Bride
The bride is often hidden in a bedroom so the groom will not see
her before the wedding. The result is a bride who feels isolated
from the party atmosphere building in the rest of the house. She may
have a few friends with her and will certainly have a somewhat
steady stream of visitors coming in and out, but after awhile that
can get tiresome or even annoying. Especially if something
substantially delays
the start of the ceremony. Remember the superstition prohibits
the groom from seeing the bride in the dress before the
ceremony. Consider getting your hair and makeup ready early and then
mingle among your arriving guests until almost the last minute.
Change into your wedding dress shortly before the ceremony is
scheduled to begin. (Thank you for
suggesting this Renee!)
A Clean House is a Better Wedding Venue
But who wants to clean house on the day of their wedding? Come to
think of it, who wants to clean house period. Considering hiring a
cleaning service to prepare the house or refer to the suggestion
above and ask friends and relatives for their help. You really do
not want to be concerned with the state of your home or be scrubbing
toilets thirty minutes before your guests are due to arrive. Put
together a schedule for the day before and the day of your wedding
that allows ample time for all the tasks you want to accomplish.
Plan to have everything done at least two hours before your first
guest is due. A bride, groom or host rushing around to pick up stray
items, stock toilet paper, fill the ice chest, set out the cake,
etc. is a stressed bride, groom or host.
Think of the Neighbors
Now might be a good time to cultivate good relations with the
neighbors. Let everyone around you know when you are getting married
and how many cars to expect. A considerate neighbor will refrain
from mowing the lawn during your ceremony or kennel particularly
noisy dogs. You may even obtain use of their driveway for guest
parking so as not to clog neighborhood streets. It cannot hurt to
ask! If you do have neighbors offer their driveway, tell specific
guests where to park. For example, "Cousin Sarah, our neighbors have
graciously offered their driveway for parking. When you come to our
wedding, please park in the driveway at 125 Main Street." and "Uncle
Bob, our neighbors have graciously offered their driveway for
parking. When you come to our wedding, please park in the driveway
at 128 Main Street."
Wedding Party Equals Wedding
Coordinator
If you are planning to have several bridesmaids and groomsmen and
a "walk down the aisle," designate someone in advance as your
"wedding coordinator" on the day of the wedding. His or her job is
to line everyone up in the order in which they will enter the
ceremony and to appropriately space their entrances. I highly
recommend rehearsals for home weddings
even when there are only one or two attendants. You should already have easy access
to the venue, it will enable you to spot logistical problems well in
advance and will alleviate the stress of participants on the day of
the wedding. Just because it is a home wedding doesn't mean it is
automatically an easy wedding. Home weddings can be trickier because
the property is just not intuitively an event venue.
 Safety
Take the time to walk through the property a few times and look
at it with several perspectives in mind. Are there hazards for small
children who may be present? Is it accessible to guests with
mobility issues? Will there be any electrical or plumbing issues for
the number of guests expected to attend? Will parking in some areas
restrict easy access to the home? Is there a pool that would pose a
problem for children and non-swimmers? Are there scrubby areas or
yard debris that may attract unwanted indigenous creatures? Should
the yard be sprayed for mosquitoes and other biting insects before
the wedding?
The Biggest Mistake
Whether you are hiring musicians, caterers, maids, and
professional photographers or are doing everything yourself, the
biggest mistake you can make is not to delegate. Make sure other
people know your basic expectations and your grand plan. Do not
think of yourselves as the hosts, even if you are paying for
everything yourselves. Have someone else fill that "role" to free
you up to be the bride and groom. You do not want to be
micromanaging details the day of the wedding. Plan in advance,
delegate to trusted individuals and relax. Your wedding will be what
it will be and it will be wonderful.
Key Personnel
If you are not hiring professional staff for your wedding you
should designate the following responsibilities to trusted friends
and family members.
Host/Hostess: Greets guests, thoroughly familiar with both the
layout of the home and the planned flow of the festivities. This
person understands both the grand vision and the details necessary
to pull everything off. If something gets lost, this is the person
who knows where it is. If a guest is lost, this is the person who
can give them directions over the phone.
Wedding Coordinator: This person should not be a shy individual
and should know the logistics of the ceremony portion of your
wedding festivities. He or she will need to instruct and assemble
the guests when it is time to begin, line up the bridal party and
space their entrance in the processional.
DJ: This person should be thoroughly familiar with your audio
technology, know exactly when and how to play which piece of music.
 Photography: If you do not have a professional photographer, I
highly recommend designating at least three of the better
photographers within your circle of acquaintances, preferably ones
who have decent quality cameras. I can give them tips on how to best
capture your ceremony. I even know a few ideas for great portrait
photographs afterwards. If keepsake photographs are important to
you, this may be an area where you want to invest in professionals.
They are expensive, but the quality difference can be tremendous.
Childcare: This person should have an easy rapport with children,
but the authority to keep their exuberance within appropriate
boundaries.
Reception Coordinator: This is your kitchen person. This
individual should know the logistics of the reception portion of
your wedding festivities and have a thorough knowledge of your menu
and how and when you intend it to be served.
The 6-10 people above should be able to work together and all
should understand your expectations and how their roles contribute
to the bigger picture. I recommend a meeting with all of them
together approximately two weeks before the wedding. Make your
expectations clear, but not unreasonable or bossy.
If you have any ideas for making home
weddings less stressful and more enjoyable, please contact me at the
email below. I would be happy to credit you for creative, helpful
and generally fabulous ideas. |
Tips for Home Weddings
