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This page
gets a lot of visitors searching for Unitarian Universalist (UU)
weddings and UU wedding vows. The first thing to understand is that
there
is no such thing as the Unitarian Universalist wedding. Because our faith
is non-creedal, our membership includes people who hold a wide range
of religious and spiritual beliefs. The most important thing about a
UU wedding, or any wedding for that matter, is that it should
capture what the bride and groom want to honor in the context of
ritually transitioning from single to married status.
The services
below are included as samples of Unitarian Universalist
weddings. They include the chalice lighting ritual present in most Unitarian Universalist services and utilizes the hymnal, Singing the Living Tradition.
The first service adapts the Flower Ceremony celebrated in many UU congregations in
the spring and demonstrates homage paid to the couple's philosophical and
spiritual preferences.
Hopefully
they both capture the Unitarian Universalist regard for marriage as
a partnership of equals worthy of respect and dignity with
responsibilities as a couple to the community at large.
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- Processional
- Presentation of the Bride
- Chalice Lighting
- Opening Words with a Memorial Statement
- Responsive Reading
Make
Not a Bond of Love Kahlil Gibran
- Affirmation of Marriage
- Exchange of Vows
- Exchange of Rings
- Flower Ceremony
-
Reading: Buddha’s sermon at Rajagaha, verses 19-22
- Blessing
- Declaration of Marriage
- Extinguish the Chalice
- Recessional
Prelude
Processional
Presentation of the Bride
Minister:
Who brings this woman to be married this day?
Chalice
Lighting
Minister:
Our chalice today will be lit by ________________.
Love
is a gift for which we are grateful.
We
gather today to celebrate the glories
And
mysteries of this great gift.
We
light our chalice in honor of the love
That
burns between ____ and ______.
Opening Words with
a Memorial Statement
Minister: Today we gather in
community to witness _________ and ___________ pledge a covenant of sacred
matrimony. Marriage embodies all the precious values arising from human
companionship and love. It symbolizes the ultimate intimacy between a man and a
woman. Therefore, it is not to be entered into lightly, but with certainty, with
mutual respect; and with a sense of reverence that does not preclude beauty,
humor and joy.
Our
celebration is the external sign of a sacred and internal commitment. Such a
union can only be created by loving purpose, maintained by abiding will and
renewed by human feelings and intentions.
_________ and _________ would also
like to celebrate the people who are important in their lives, but are not
able to be here today. We keep those who were unable to attend, _____,
in our hearts. We honor ___________________ who is/are no longer with
us. Their blessings and support are present in spirit and loving memory.
Responsive
Reading: #730 “Make
Not a Bond of Love” Kahlil Gibran
Minister: Please turn
to #730 in our hymnal, Singing the Living Tradition for a responsive
reading lead by _______________.
Affirmation of Marriage
Minister: Love can be one of the
highest human experiences. At its best it reduces our selfishness, deepens our
personalities, and makes life far more meaningful. Its very nature is to want to
give to another, and to engender joy in one another. Such love can call forth
the best qualities in each of you.
Love
between man and woman, like any other love, is a love generous in offering and
generous in receiving. It is full of laughter, mercy and rejoicing. Love
nourishes but it does not possess; in love we affirm one another but do not
dominate. To love is not to win or lose, but to help and to be helped.
The
simplicity of first love appears to be a self-enclosed world—two people
listening to each other, making one world between them. There are no others in
the perfect unity of that instant It is free of ties or claims, unburdened by
responsibilities, by worry about the future or debts to the past.
As
two people grow together and the bonds of marriage are formed a web is fashioned
of love—many kinds of love: romantic love first, then a slow-growing devotion
and, playing through these, a constantly rippling companionship. It is made of
loyalties, and interdependencies, and shared experiences. It is woven of
memories of meetings and conflicts, of triumphs and disappointments. It is a web
of communication, a common language, knowing one another’s likes and dislikes,
habits and reactions, both physical and mental. It is a web of instincts and
intuitions, and known and unknown exchanges.
The web of marriage is made in the
daily living side by side, looking outward and working outward in the same
direction. It is woven in space and in time, of the substance of life itself.
As
Unitarian Universalists we affirm and promote justice, equity and compassion in
human relations. May your marriage be an active endeavor and public example of
living these relational values.
Exchange
of Vows
Minister:
__________ and _________, please turn to one another and join hands as you declare your intent. _____ / _____ repeat after me.
Before
our family and friends
who
have given us the gift of love,
I__________,
join with you, ____________,
in
the covenant of marriage.
I
promise you the compassion, respect, and effort
a
good union demands.
I
dedicate myself to our marriage
in
mind, body, heart and soul
as
long as we live.
May
this community witness our love
for
the rest of our lives.
Exchange of Rings
Minister: Do we have the rings?
The circle has long been a symbol of
completeness, a symbol of committed love. It is a symbol of holiness and of
perfection and of peace. From time immemorial, the circlet of metal has been an
emblem of the sincerity and permanence of a couple's love and regard for one
another and their union. As the precious metal turns again upon itself, so does
a good marriage turn upon itself for its refreshment and renewal. May your rings
be a reminder of the covenant you have made today.
_________ please repeat after me as
you place the ring on _______’s hand.
___
/ ____I give you this ring
as
a symbol of my love,
my
faith in our strength together,
and
my covenant
to
learn and grow with you.
Flower
Ceremony with Accompanying Music
_____
and ____’s respective families, together with their friends, each represent a
circle of love where members care for, and nurture each other, in times of joy
and in times of sorrow. Today, ____
and _____ join their lives together to make a new circle of love, one that
overlaps with, and is made stronger by those from which it has emerged.
_____
and _____ would like to symbolize the blessings of community with a flower
ceremony. As _______ plays / sings “________” please bring the flower you
selected when you entered the sanctuary, come forward and place it in this vase.
_____ and ____ intend to use this arrangement as the
centerpiece of their family dining table to honor those who have brought them to
this moment and will subsequently support and nourish their marriage in the days
and years to come.
Reading
Minister:
__________ and ___________ have shared with me their current interest in
Buddhist philosophy. The couple’s _____________
____________ will read from the Buddha’s sermon at Rajagaha, verses
19-22.
Do not deceive, do not despise each other anywhere. Do not be angry nor
bear secret resentments; for as a mother will risk her life and watches over her
child, so boundless be your love to all, so tender, kind and mild.
Cherish
good will right and left, early and late, and without hindrance, without stint,
be free of hate and envy, while standing and walking and sitting down, what ever
you have in mind, the rule of life that is always best is to be loving-kind.
Gifts
are great, founding temples is meritorious, meditations and religious exercises
pacify the heart, comprehension of the truth leads to Nirvana, but greater than
all is loving kindness.
As
the light of the moon is sixteen times stronger than the light of all the stars,
so loving kindness is sixteen times more efficacious in liberating the heart
than all other religious accomplishments taken together.
Blessing
Minister:
May that wonder residing in all who love,
Reside
in you, and bless you and keep you,
May
it fill you with joy and a compassionate spirit.
May
all that is good and right and true
Abound
in your lives and abide in your hearts.
Through
the changes of time and fortune
May
your union be granted harmony and strength.
Declaration
of Marriage
Minister:
What love has brought together, let no one break asunder. For as much as you,
____ and ____, have consented to live together in marriage and have pledged
yourselves to one another, have declared the same by the giving and receiving of
rings, with great pleasure and by the authority vested in me as a Minister in
the state of Florida I pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal your
marriage with a kiss.
Extinguish
Chalice
Minister:
Our chalice will be extinguished today by ____________.
We
extinguish this flame,
but
not the fire of passion,
the
light of joy or the warmth of compassion.
These
we carry in our hearts
as
we surround ____ and ______
as
a loving community supportive of their union.
Recessional
- Processional
- Presentation of the Couple
- Chalice Lighting
- Opening Words (with congregational vow of support)
- Responsive Reading
"The Best is Yet To Be" by Joanna Fuchs
- Affirmation of Marriage
- Exchange of Vows
- Exchange of Rings
- Congregational Affirmation (Vessel and Stones)
-
Reading: "To My Dear and Loving Husband" by Anne Bradstreet
- Blessing
"Wedding Prayer" by Robert Lewis Stevenson
- Declaration of Marriage
- Extinguish the Chalice
- Recessional
Prelude
Processional
Presentation of
the Couple
Minister:
Do you present yourselves willingly and reverently of your own accord to
be joined in matrimony?
Couple: We do.
Chalice
Lighting
Minister:
Our chalice today will be lit by ________________.
Please read with me from your order of service as ______ lights the chalice.
The sacred bond of matrimony
is a gift of love and hope
uniting two people in a
relationship
unique and blessed.
We
light our chalice in honor of the love
that
burns between ____ and ______.
Opening Words
Minister: Dearly beloved we have
gathered here this day to witness the joining of ______ and ______ in sacred
matrimony. These two have found in one another the person each finds most dear
in this world. They have recognized a kindred spirit with whom they intend to
unite for the rest of their days. Such love is a cherished gift and not to be
taken lightly. _____ and _____ have stated their intent to enter into marriage
willingly and reverently.
Do you, invited here to witness their
matrimonial vows, pledge to support and affirm their union as a community
committed to their spiritual and ethical well-being as a couple publicly
affirmed as husband and wife?
Congregation: We do
Responsive
Reading: "The Best is Yet To Be" by Joanna
Fuchs
Minister: Our
responsive reading is led today by _______________________.
Reading Leader: On your joyful wedding day,
You begin a brand new life.
Friends and family give their gifts
To joyful husband, blissful wife.
Congregation: But the
greatest gift you'll ever get,
A gift from heaven above,
Is love forever, ending never,
Everlasting love.
You'll share life's joy
and pleasure;
You'll have plenty of that, it's true.
But love is the real treasure
For your new spouse and you.
And if life hands you
challenges,
As it does to one and all,
Your love will hold you steady
And never let you fall.
Your wedding day is full
of joy;
Tomorrow you cannot see.
But one thing's sure for the two of you:
The best is yet to be.
Affirmation of Marriage
Minister: ______ and ______, I cannot
possibly convey the joy and honor I feel today. The estate of matrimony is an
exalted one indeed. But one that is as full of humor and gladness as it is
solemnity and sanctity. I urge you to embrace the absurdity of life as well as
its gravity. Be sure you laugh as much as you cry.
When I was first married I would never have imagined how liberating joining
myself to another human being could be. I have changed and matured in ways that
would not have been possible on my own. Do not fear such changes. The persons
you are today can indeed glory in the people you become tomorrow. Encourage one
another and in so doing, find growth in yourself. Successful marriages are those
in which the husband and wife reverence both communion and independence.
Be realistic and recognize there will be times the other seems a stranger.
Respect the distances but remember you must bridge these gaps to the best of
your ability. Share responsibilities however mundane. Be prepared to compromise,
but not at the expense of your deepest convictions. Trust that you have chosen
wisely and treat one another compassionately. Accept that while love is of
critical importance, it is not quite enough. Love is penultimate while
commitment is paramount. Commit yourselves to your union and dedicate your love
to the covenant of your marriage. Now would you please turn to one another, join
hands and look into one another’s eyes?
Exchange
of Vows
Bride / Groom
I, __________
give to
you,_________________
this vow of sacred
matrimony.
I cannot imagine
spending the rest of my
life
with anyone but you.
I pledge my heart, my
body
and my soul to our
union.
I promise to support you
in your endeavors
and counsel you when you
need my guidance.
I will accept your
counsel
with an open heart and
open mind.
I will share my
thoughts, dreams, hopes and fears.
I will hold you close
when you laugh and when
you cry.
I vow to be a strong
individual
within a solid union
so that we may both grow
in love and wisdom
all the days of our
lives.
or
Do you, __________
give yourself to_________________ in sacred matrimony. Do you pledge your heart,
body and soul to your union, promising to support ____ in his/her endeavors, and
counseling ______ when he/she is in need of your guidance. Do you accept
______'s counsel with an open heart and open mind. Do you intend to share your
thoughts, dreams, hopes and fears? Do you promise to hold him/her close when
he/she laughs and when he/she cries? Do you vow to be a strong individual within
a solid union so that you both may grow in love and wisdom all the days of your
lives?
Bride/Groom: I do.
Exchange of Rings
Minister: Do we have the rings?
The wedding ring serves as a symbol
of the sacred covenant you have just affirmed. They are the outward and visible
signs of the love which binds your lives together. As these rings are crafted of
the finest of earth's materials, so your love is of the richest of spiritual
values. These seamless rings have no beginning and no end, and therefore
symbolize the perfection of a love that can always renew itself without end.
_________ please repeat after me as
you place the ring on _______’s hand.
Bride/Groom: Because
this ring has no end or beginning,
it signifies the
continuation of true love.
As I place it on your
finger,
I give you all that I am
and ever hope to be.
Congregational
Affirmation
Minister: __________ and
______________ have chosen this vase as a vessel for blessings of their union.
In times of strife they may turn to these stones and contemplate the messages
you share with them during their wedding ceremony. At each anniversary they will
add stones with their own blessings to remind them that the passage of time
builds upon the foundation laid today.
At this time, ______ and _____ invite
you to come forward to say a few words in affirmation of their marriage. As
you come forward please place a stone in the vase as you give your blessing to
their union.
Reading
Minister: Bride and
Groom have invited __________________ to read "To My Dear and Loving Husband" by
Anne Bradstreet
Reader: If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize thy love more that whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold I pray.
Then while we live, in love let’s so persevere,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.
Blessing
"Wedding Prayer" by Robert Lewis Stevenson
Minister: Behold our family here assembled.
We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow,
for the health, the work, the food,
and the bright skies that make our lives delightful;
for our friends in all parts of the earth.
Amen
Declaration
of Marriage
Minister:
What _________ and ____________ have brought together in the bonds of love, let
not these bonds be broken. For as much as you have exchanged vows of sacred
matrimony and symbolized your intent with the giving and receiving of rings, it
is my honor as a Minister in the state of Florida to pronounce you husband and wife.
Please seal your
marriage with a kiss.
Extinguish
Chalice
Minister:
Our chalice will be extinguished today by ____________.
Please read with me from your order of service as _____ extinguishes our
chalice.
We
extinguish this flame,
but
not the light of joy or the warmth of compassion
These gifts we bestow upon _____
and ____
as we pledge our support as
friends and family.
Recessional
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Unitarian Universalist
