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Although
the formula for a wedding vow is actually quite simple, you should choose your
vow carefully so it contains a meaningful pledge you honestly believe you will
make every effort to fulfill. Your vow expresses your feelings for your partner,
indicates your intention to make a lifelong commitment and makes realistic
promises that define your primary responsibilities as a spouse. Of course, vows
vary greatly and can be exchanged in a variety of formats.
There are many different ways you can exchange your vows. You can also use more
than one format for your vows. I frequently have couples who wish to say or read
a few words to one another, essentially exchanging personal self-written vows,
and then have me include shared vows that they either repeat after me or respond
to with "I do."
Memorized
or Prepared: The officiant simply prompts the couple to declare or read
their previously memorized or
written vows.
Responsive:
The officiant asks questions to which the couple responds "I will" or
"I do."
Repetitive:
The officiant instructs the couple to "repeat after me" and then
prompts the declaration of vows in a series of easily repeated lines.
Combination:
The couple may opt to include two or three of the above vow styles. This first
example was written by a couple I married in June 2006. These vows begin in the
Repetitive style, transition into Responsive, and then end with a
Repetitive vow.
Repeat
after me.
_______________,
you are my one true love,
my
best friend, my soul
mate....
You
complete my spirit and compliment my soul...
Today,
before our family, our friends and the heavens
I pledge my love to you...
And promise to share the rest of my life with you....
Do you ___________ & _____________ promise to...
Trust,
respect and celebrate each other?
Grow
together by unselfishly encouraging, appreciating, nurturing and supporting each
other?
Laugh,
play and enjoy the simple pleasures together?
Help
each other stay focused on the important things in life and not sweat the small
stuff?
Be
there and comfort each other always?
Be
faithful to each other?
Begin and end each day with the words, "I love you?"
______________,
I will honor these promises until the end of
time
Because
when two souls believe their love is forever, the
heavens
make it so.
Memorized:
I,
_______, in the presence of our families and friends, take you, _______ to be my
lawfully wedded husband / wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in
bad, in sickness and in health. To love and honor you, offering my friendship
and trust in you, promising to be faithful and understanding as long as we both
shall live.
Responsive:
_______,
in the presence of your families and friends, do you take _______ to be your
lawfully wedded husband / wife? Do you promise to be true to him in good times
and in bad, in sickness and in health? To love and honor him, offering your
friendship and trust in him, promising to be faithful and understanding as long
as you both shall live?
"I
do."
Repetitive:
I
have included line breaks to demonstrate how an officiant might divide these
vows into short memorable phrases for repetition by the couple.
In
the presence of our families and friends,
I,
__________take you, _______
to
be my lawfully wedded husband / wife.
I
promise to be true to you
in
good times and in bad,
in
sickness and in health.
I
promise to love you and honor you
offering
my friendship and trust in you,
promising
to be faithful and understanding
as
long as we both shall live.
You may find a vow which contains the sentiments you
wish to express but seems either too stilted or too casual. By altering a few
words, using full names or nick names, you can easily change a vow to suit your
personalities and the tone of your wedding. The three vows below say essentially
the same thing, but I think you'll agree have a different feel. I'm not sure why
more traditional sounding vows lend a formal tone, but alas they do.
Traditional
I, (name),
take you (name),
to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband),
to have and to hold,
for better or for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish;
keeping myself only unto you
from this day forward
until death we do part.
Contemporary
I, (name),
take you, (name),
to be my beloved
(wife/husband),
to have and to hold,
to honor and to treasure,
to be at your side
in sorrow and in joy,
in the good times and in
the bad,
and to love and cherish
always.
I make
these promises from my heart
now and forever.
Blend
I, (name),
take you, (name),
to be my wedded (wife/husband),
to have and to hold,
to honor and to cherish,
remaining by your side,
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
for richer or for poor.
pledging my faithfulness to our
union
from this day forward
These are some of the more popular
vows, but of course this list is far from exhaustive. It does not begin
to touch the creativity we can bring to your own ceremony.
1. Before Our Family & Friends,
I__________, join with you, ____________, in the covenant of marriage. I promise
to give my faithful, life-giving love to you, and to share my life with you as
long as we shall live. May this community witness our love for each other for
the rest of our lives.
2. I ______, take you _____to be my
husband./wife. I promise to be true to you through the inevitable changes life
brings. I will remain by your side in times of want and times of plenty. When we are ill and when we are well,
when we grieve and when we rejoice, I will love and honor you all the days of my
life. I offer my trust in you, vowing to be faithful and understanding from this
day forward.
3. Before these witnesses I, _____________, vow to love you, __________, and
care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and
your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will
help you when you need help, and will turn to you when I need help. I choose you
as the person with whom I will spend my life.
4. I affirm/pledge/declare my love for you as I invite you to share/continue to
share my life. To this end, I call upon my family and friends here present to
witness that I, _________, take you ________, to be my lawful, wedded
wife/husband/partner.
5. On this day, I ___________ thee wed you _________, the woman/man I have
chosen to be my wife/husband/partner for the rest of my life, and promise to
give you all the love, courtesy, respect, thoughtfulness, and effort that a good
union demands as well as dedicate myself in mind, body, heart and soul to make
you as happy, economically stable, and fulfilled as I can provide.
6. You, ______, are the love of my life, the inspiration I
have always sought. I pledge my undying dedication to you for the
rest of my life. I love you with all of my heart and soul. I will do everything
within my power to
ensure your happiness and well being. I, _____, take you, from this day forward,
to be a part of me, and
promise to look upon you forever as I would look upon myself, with dedication,
understanding, and unconditional love.
7. I love you ______ with all my heart and soul, as you are everything that I
could ever hope to find in a woman/man. You are loving, thoughtful, caring,
smart, and beautiful/handsome in my eyes and your love always makes me feel like
the happiest and luckiest man/woman alive. I am proud to have you as my life's
partner and I promise that I will always be at your side, through good and bad,
and give you everything that is in my power to grant to assure your health and
happiness for as long as I live. I am yours forever….
8. (Partner's name) as we stand here among our peers and under God I,
___________want to pledge, in front of all, my undying love and dedication to
you and let you know that I have found in you the woman/man I wish to spend the
rest of my life with. You are the one person who, with your love, laughter,
caring, thoughtfulness, attention, positive outlook, and devotion to me, has
rekindled the hope of a future full happiness and sharing and this hope, which
was once almost gone, has grown within me anew and has brought the certainty
that with you by my side my life will be full of love, caring, happiness,
purpose, and joy. So with these words I take you ____________as my
wife/husband/partner and vow, unto you, to give all that is within my heart,
body, and soul, to give for as long as I am alive.
9. I love you. You are my best friend. Today I, ____________, commit myself to
you. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort
you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in
bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard. When our love is simple, and
when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in
highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.
10. Today I will marry my friend, the one I will live with, dream with, and love.
I ____________ take you to be my husband/wife/partner. From this day forward I
will cherish you, I will look with joy down the path of our tomorrows knowing we
will walk it together side by side, hand in hand and heart to heart.
11. ___________________, I promise to love you above all others and to value your friendship as a
precious gift. I look forward to raising our family and building our
relationship. I _____________ promise to stand beside you in sickness or health,
in times of prosper and decline, in peace and in turmoil, as long as we both
shall live.
12. I ___________take you ____________to be my husband/wife/partner To have and
to hold from this day forward. I give to you my unending love and devotion. I
promise to be true to you, to cherish you, and to share my thoughts, hopes, and
dreams with you. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, my
best friend. I will love you forever.
13. I _________ promise to be there when you need me, to fill your days with sunshine, to
comfort you and encourage you, to help you reach your goals, to be your best
friend ever and to love you all my life with all my heart.
14. I ____________ take you___________, to be my husband/wife/partner. I promise
to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, I will
love and honor you all the days of my life. In the presence of our families and
friends, I, ________, take you, ______________, to be may husband/wife/partner.
I offer my friendship and trust in you, promising to be faithful and
understanding as long as we both shall live.
15. ____________, I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone
but you. I pledge my heart, my body and my soul to our union. I promise to
support you in your endeavors and counsel you when you need my guidance. I will
accept your counsel with an open heart and open mind. I will share my thoughts,
dreams, hopes and fears with you. I will hold you close when you laugh and when
you cry. I vow to be a strong individual within a solid union so that we may
both grow in love and wisdom all the days of our lives.
16. I, _________________, take you, ________________ to be my
husband/wife/partner. I pledge myself this day to trust and appreciate you. I
promise to respect and cherish your uniqueness and to support, comfort and
strengthen you through life's joys and sorrows. I promise to build a life
together based upon mutual concern, compassion and honor. I will be faithful and
loving, in good times and in bad, from this day forward.
17. I, __________ give to you,_________________ this vow of sacred matrimony.
I acknowledge our individuality and respect the natural space that will reside
comfortably between us. I promise to bridge that space with open communication,
silent understanding and heartfelt compassion. I promise to act loving so as to
be loving. I promise to love passionately, argue fairly and support you
unfailingly. I acknowledge our relationship is a gift that comes with
responsibilities I accept gladly. I love you and promise to be faithful to our
union all the days of our lives.
18. Since I met you, I have found a new life. The decision to commit to share
that life with you is one I make happily and with full confidence in our love,
secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner
in life, and my one true love. On this special day, I give to you, in the
presence of these witnesses, my pledge to stay by your side, in sickness and in
health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad. I
promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress,
encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you,
grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and
cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
The
following two vows are examples of how vows above can be blended to create
something slightly different.
I, ____ give to you, _____
this vow of sacred matrimony.
I acknowledge our individuality
and respect the natural space
that will reside comfortably between
us.
I promise to bridge that space
with open communication,
silent understanding
and heartfelt compassion.
I promise to act loving so as to be
loving.
I promise to support you unfailingly.
I acknowledge our relationship is a
gift
that comes with responsibilities I
accept gladly.
I love you and promise to be faithful
to our union
all the days of our lives.
I, ___, take you, ___ to be my
husband/wife.
I pledge myself this day
to trust and appreciate you.
I promise to respect and cherish you
to support, comfort and strengthen
you
through life's joys and sorrows.
I promise to build a life together
based upon mutual concern, compassion
and honor.
I will be faithful and loving,
in good times and in bad.
I give to you, my heart, my body and
my soul
from this day forward.
These vows have been
translated from the ancient Brehon law. To the Celts and early Irish Christians,
these vows symbolized what an ideal marriage should be: a marriage of love and
respect between equals.
You cannot possess me, for I belong to myself.
But while we both wish it,
I give you that which is mine to give.
You cannot command me, for I am a free person,
but I shall serve you in those ways you require
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.
I pledge to you that yours will be the name
I cry aloud in the night,
and the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite from my bread
and the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living and my dying,
each equally in your care.
I shall be a shield for your back, and you for mine.
I shall not slander you, nor you me.
I shall honour you above all others,
and when we quarrel, we shall do so in private
and tell no strangers our grievances.
This is my wedding vow to you.
This is a marriage of equals.
Suitable for Remarriage or Second Marriage:
1. _____, we have been given a second chance at happiness. I come today to give
you my love, my heart and my hope for our future together. I promise to increase
your joy in times of happiness, diminish your pain in times of sorrow and love
you more and more each day. My love for you is eternal. I pledge my faithfulness
and honor from this day forward.
2. Because of you, _____________, I
laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again. I look forward with boundless joy to
spending the rest of my life with you, caring for you, nurturing you, being
there for you in all life has for us, and I vow to be true and faithful for as
long as we both shall live.
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Exchange of Vows
